Albeiro was a very confused person. He had just gotten this cool sword with the inscription "Happy 2nd birthday, Kadaj! Love, Jenny" from the heart of a dead body on the side of the road, and what had it gotten him? A lot of attention from the natives, that's what. And it wasn't the good type of attention. It was more like the "we're going to cut your heart out and present it to our goddess as a virgin sacrifice so that she will bless our wart cure and make it successful" type of attention. And, unfortunately, the amazon tribes happened to have a warty foot epidemic going around. And so, here he was, tied to a large round rock with a smiling face painted on it, all ready to be sacrificed. All that was missing was the sacrificial knife. Albeiro had stashed it in his back pocket while no one was looking. When you have luck like him and a sword labelled "sacrificial knife" lying around, it's best to pinch it, just to be safe. He knew that the amazons would finish their koffee (a beverage made from a small nut that keeps you awake at night, then instantly knocks you out when it's time to wake up) break and would soon search him. There was only one thing he could think of: whimper.

And so he did.

"Finally, the wolves are gone!" Aloric exclaimed his victory out loud. No matter where he went in Arda, it seemed that there was wolves around, and those wolves always seemed to be hungry. And he always seemed to be the easiest target.

No longer! He had successfully pulled off the latest trick in his ever-growing arsenal: climb the first tree you find and hide until the wolves give up. His willpower had been greater than that of the wolves, and he was now enjoying the rewards of his labor. Peace and quiet.

Whimper.

Aloric turned around. Where had that sound come from? And it wasn't just the whimper he had heard, it was the distinct sound of someone slurping koffee (a beverage made from a small nut that keeps you awake at night, then instantly knocks you out when it's time to wake up) not far away. That's when he spotted a cool sword on the ground, with the following inscription: "Happy 2nd birthday, Kadaj! Love, Jenny". Whoever Kadaj was, he suspected he had not received Jenny's gift. Because now, he had spotted the offenders of the koffee slurping: all women. And a small, tiny, little man tied to a rock that distinctly looked like an Amazonian sacrificial rock.

Oh no, Aloric thought. They found another person to use in their dangerous sacrificial games. Or perhaps their dreaded warts have returned.

"Well... it's not my problem." Aloric turned to leave.

Whimper.

This poor man sounded so helpless. He was in fact helpless, Aloric knew. The Amazon women would use their sacrificial knife to use it against the man while he was tied to the rock.

Guilt came over Aloric. He had to do something. He turned around once again, to go back to the camp of the Amazons. He treaded into the camp confidently, turned towards the man, and then noticed he had the sacrificial knife. That's a plus! He just had to give this poor man some time to cut himself free, and then they could both leave the place. The sun was setting, and Aloric wanted to get to shelter, so he turned to the women. "Excuse me, ladies, but do you know where I can find a latrine? It was the first thing that had come out of his mouth, and he wasn't sure how much time it would buy the man, but hopefully it'd be enough.

It was at times like this that Albeiro wished that he had listened to his mother when she had said... wel, he wasn't paying attention. But whatever she had said, he wished that he had listened. He also wished that the knife wasn't stuck down his pants. How embarassing. Who knows what those women are thinking of me, reaching behind myself like that. Albeiro was a very self-conscious person, and as a result he had never really spent time with any women. Or maybe vice versa, since he had heard of many a man who toughened up when he spent time around women. He had to, especially when they'll probably be cutting into you with a rather painful knife.

Speaking of knives, let's get off of that tangent and back to the story. Albeiro finally got the knife free and sawed at his bonds as soon as the amazon women were distracted. Fortunately, a man had just walked up, and Albeiro knew that as long as they had someone to sacrifice, their attention was completely centered on men. He remembered reading that in a book somewhere, something like The Hitchhiker's Guide to Arda (You can panic now). And so he cut through his bonds and sat up. This wasn't the right thing to do when you escape, he knew, but at the time the blood that was supposed to be in his brain had stopped somewhere around his wrists (Stupid tight bonds...). Fortunately, they had a replacement victim right there. If he was a virgin. Albeiro hoped that the man had the sense to answer no when they asked; the man had helped him get free, after all.

"Are you a virgin?" the leader of the women asked Aloric.

"That doesn't quite answer my question," Aloric pointed out. He had simply asked where to find the nearest restroom, but clearly these women's minds were elsewhere. He wanted to look over at the man to see how his escape was coming along, but he knew that if he did that the women would see him and foil his plan. Not that it was much of a plan, Aloric was merely creating a distraction.

A distraction that, quite effeciently, put him in immense danger. He hadn't been thinking about that when he had planned out the man's escape. He hoped the mission was going well.

"Are you a virgin?

"What difference does that make in me relieving myself? Just point me in the right direction and I'll gladly be on my way."

"Our warty feet will not suffer because of your toiletry needs!" the woman informed Aloric. So, the curse of the warts had returned to these parts of the rainforest.

"Well, ah, um - bathroom, please?

That was when they saw the man was free from his bonds. "Seize him!"

Aloric breathed with relief. Well, at least he had given the man time enough to release himself from his bonds. Now, Aloric would have to find his escape route. The women were charging him now, when suddenly, he heard a howl from the trees.

They found me!

Albeiro started to walk away when he heard a growl from in front of him and a "Sieze him!" from behind him. Now, the famed Ardan/Ardian philosopher Murphei had once stated that anything that can go wrong will never go wrong. He was promptly crushed by a falling boulder, and Not Murphei's Law was born. Albeiro knew this law well, as he was always the subject of the thing that can go wrong. Thus, he knew that if he ran forward, he would be attacked by wild animals and if he ran away, the amazon women's cries would be toward him.

Since the women had been screaming at Aloric, it would be very confusing to have them screaming at two people. To make it easier on all parties involved, Fate gave Albeiro's mind a little nudge forward.

Unfortunately, Albeiro's mind was inside of his head, which was pressed face down along with the rest of his body in a large mud puddle following his trampling by wolves. He tried to get up, only to find that it was quicksand. "Wonderful."

Aloric was trying to find somewhere that he could hide from both the wolves and the women at the same time. It was slow going, however, considering that both of them were trying desperately to capture him, leaving very little time to actually hide.

Instead he spent his time and energy running around the camp crazed, yelping and shrieking and screaming and pouting. Why had he gotten himself mixed in with this situation? If he had just let the women sacrifice the man, the warts would be gone and all would be well. Instead, he had tried a half-baked plan to rescue the fumbling captive, and the women still had warty feet. Surely they would still be looking for someone to sacrifice, even if Aloric and the original captive were able to escape. He assumed the other man had already escaped and run off into the wilderness.

Amidst the yelping and shrieking and screaming and pouting - not to mention the howling of the wolves and the chants of the warrior women - Aloric had managed to spot a poor little man encased in quicksand. How did that poor little man manage to get himself in that situation? Upon closer examination, Aloric realized it was the same poor little man he had just helped to rescue.

"That's quite a sticky situation you got there!" Aloric kept running.

The wolves eventually stopped running after Aloric and started at the Amazonian women, who in turn engaged in combat with the canines. Another of the tricks in Aloric's ever-growing arsenal had worked: the run like hell plan. Aloric took that minute to go back to the man, who still seemed to be falling deeper into the quicksand.

"Helloooo down there. Can you hear me?" While waiting for a response - if any would come - Aloric tried to figure out a plan to set this poor man free once again.

Albeiro sat there, feeling very sorry for himself, and he waited. I know help will come. Or, at least, I hoped it does. It usually does. Perhaps that man from bef- no, there he goes. What an awful pun. And quicksand isn't even sticky! Who does he think he is? And here come those- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! etc.

Following his second trampling, the quicksand was filled nearly full of amazons and wolves except for the area around him, making it impossible for him to make his way to the side and climb out, despite the fact that only a foot lay between him and sweet, not-very-moist freedom (Yes, it's a complicated run-on sentence. But it's my complicated run-on sentence. Besides, commas are good for you.). Fate, why do you curse me?!?! It was then that Aloric arrived. Again.

"Helloooo down there. Can you hear me?" "Yes. Yes I can. It's not like quicksand impairs my hearing. Yet. Now are you going to stand there or help me out of this? Because I certainly can't get out on my own."

"Yes. Yes I can. It's not like quicksand impairs my hearing. Yet. Now are you going to stand there or help me out of this? Because I certainly can't get out on my own."

Aloric thought about it long and hard. He wanted to help this fellow, he really did. And at the same time, he knew his friends the wolves would be catching up to him very quickly. And at the same time, he knew it was nearly impossible for him to pull anyone out of quicksand. That just wasn't how it worked. Suddenly, a wolf barking in the quicksand caught his attention. Aloric found a nearby stick and proceeded to whack the wolf into submission. However, it only served to anger the wolf further.

Aloric was presented with many predicaments. The answer to them all seemed easy enough: run away with his own life intact and leave this stranger to fend off the bad guys for himself. Nighttime was approaching and he was tired.

But he couldn't manage to beat guilt. He knew he'd feel awfully bad leaving this man to die in the hands of the wart footed Amazon women. "Fine, fine, I'll help you. As soon as I think of an idea." His trick arsenal did not seem to have anything for a situation like this, so he'd have to create a new entry. Then, it came to him. It was risky, to be sure, and involved a lot of cunning skill. Which Aloric wasn't know to possess, but things happen in dire cirumstances. He went to the nearest tree in the forest and hacked down a vine, held one end out to the man, and kept the other end in his hand. The first Amazoan who came his way would be roped with the vine, and then sent in the direction outwards from the quicksand. Perhaps she was strong enough to carry the poor little man out of the sand! He doubted it, though.

But he was out of ideas. A warrior woman came close to him, he snarled at her, and roped her. Then, waving the stick at her, she fled in the opposite direction. Making the woman act like a domesticated bull, Aloric was using her to pluck the man from his dilemma. Would her strength be enough to set him free?

Albeiro shot out of the miniature sandy swamp like a cannonball out of a wet soggy cannon, barreling into the woman. Some people may ask "How in the world did the amazon create that much force?" The answer is, of course, "I don't know." However, that's a story for another day. Or not. In fact, let's not even go there. Erase the last couple sentences from your memory.

Albeiro got up and finished tying the woman up. He stood up and shook himself a little bit, hoping that the squush (It's an onomatopoeia. Why do I need a real word?) would get off of him. It just kept on squushing. Seeing that it wouldn't come off, Albeiro addressed the next order of business. "Thanks for getting me free. Let's run for our measly little lives. Okay? Okay." And he rushed off into the forest, hoping to get away from the evil animals and amazons behind him. But, of course, Fate is far too mischevous to let him off that easily. And that goes the same for Aloric. But who know what evils lie in the heart of the forest? Because I sure don't. Are there even any evils there?

To be continued...

...the story is continued here.

Aloric tried to recollect his jaw after it had plummeted to the ground. amazed at the sheer muscle the Amazon woman had. Tha thing could move! The poor little man was flung out of the quicksand by the momentum the warrior had created. Aloric realized he no longer needed to chase after her with a stick. And if she had the strength to pull someone out of the quicksand, why was she running away from Aloric in the first place?

It was only later that he realized the woman was not running away from him because he held a stick, but for the fact that he was exhibiting extremely poor hygiene. But that is to be expected from a man in his position. He had been chased by wolves for nearly a full three hours earlier, and he was dead tired now.

The stranger tied the Amazon woman up in the vine (but could anything really tie her down?) and turned to face Aloric. "Thanks for getting me free. Let's run for our measly little lives. Okay? Okay." Aloric rolled his eyes. "That's only what I've been trying to do since I got myself involved in this fiasco!" But the man was already dashing off into the woods under the cover of night. Sighing, Aloric followed. It would not be long before the women and wolves regrouped and formed an alliance against the two men.

"And my life is not measly! Speak for yourself!" Aloric exerted himself to catch up with the little guy. "And what's your name, anyhow? So I can go back to the civilised world and tell people about the klutz I rescued from the confines of warty toed women performing a ritual virgin sacrifice in the rainforest."

"My name's Albeiro, so what's yours? I'd like to tell people about how someone attracted half of Arda's entire wolf population who then trampled me into quicksand twice, with the help of amazons that were after him in the first place."

Albeiro then slowed down the pace, letting the man behind him catch up. He might not like the company, but he needed a distraction for any gigantic mosquitos or the like that might want to do him harm. Albeiro was glad he did, as when he slowed down he realized that he hadn't even noticed the seemingly bottomless chasm two feet in front of him. Dead end... Albeiro sighed. Now, once again, he was lost in the forest. The only difference from before was that he was stuck with a man who he could tell he didn't like.

Wonderful.

"Well excuse me for wanting to save your life!" Aloric shouted back. "And the name of your rescuer is Aloric." He started to slow down his pace, not following the other man so closely. Now, all he wanted to do was get to some shelter and take a breather. There had been far too much activity today for Aloric's tastes, and he certainly didn't need the company of this ungrateful person. Aloric had saved his life, for Pete's sake! Well, that was OK, Aloric didn't need any gratitude. He just needed some rest.

As Aloric was slowing down and turning to walk a different direction, he peered toward Albeiro. Well well, that's pretty tough, to find a dead end in the rainforest. But this unlucky man has managed to do it.

Well Albeiro apparently didn't need Aloric's help, so he continued to walk away. It was at this moment that Aloric heard the faint growls of wolves coming from behind them. He looked up into the trees, then realized that was a stupid idea as the wolves wouldn't be in the trees so he stopped looking up there. The forest was completely black, with a bottomless chasm in front of him and crazed wolves behind him. And an unfortunate man right by him.

"Well Albeiro, I think now would be a good time to flee." And that's what Aloric started doing.

Where was he going? He didn't know. When would he get there? He didn't know. But somewhere with wolves was somewhere he didn't want to be, and he was relieved that he had his ever growing arsenal of tricks to fall back on. He was just worried Albeiro didn't have any tricks of his own. Because Aloric certainly wasn't letting this unfortunate man in on any of his secrets.

The most useful book any traveller can have on Arda is, of course, the Hitchhiker's Guide to Arda. Thus, Albeiro knew that Fate would never let him read any more than a few small bits of it. Fortunately, the advice that he had found in the book was invaluable, despite its small amount. It said, "To escape from any creature trying to eat you, the secret isn't to outrun the creature. The secret is to outrun your companion." And so, hearing growling behind him, Albeiro did just that. Or, at least, he tried. This Aloric person was quite a runner. He certainly has plenty of experience, Albeiro observed. That's commendable. And yet I need to outrun him. Unless I can find a way to throw those wolves off of our tail. "Hey, Aloric! Any ideas how to throw them off of our trail? Because, unless I'm mistaken, they're gaining on us."

Of course Aloric had ideas to throw them off of the trail. How had he survived so long unless he had some tricks? From the day of his birth, every time Aloric ventured into the wilderness, he was greeted by his friends the wolves, ever eager to have another meal with him present. And up until now, they had been unsuccessful.

Up until now, Aloric thought again. He didn't know for sure if he was going to make it out alive this time.

And yet for all his misfortune aside, Aloric always seemed to have the last bit of luck that would get him out of a messy situation. It had not been long ago when the wolves had actually aided Aloric against the warrior women nemesis.

Running around with Albeiro, a being with less luck even than Aloric, was a different thing altogether. He deeply hoped that Albeiro's fate would not rub off on him.

"You want an idea? Here's one: we split up, and hopefully only take half of the wolves with us. That way, we each have less to fight!" He suspected it wouldn't exactly work, but at least he'd get half of them to chase Albeiro, and meanwhile he could use one of his own tricks against the remaining wolves. At least he'd be safe.

He gosh darned hoped he wouldn't run into this Albeiro character again. Aloric would write a letter to Albeiro's family, later, explaining that he had died valiantly defending himself against viscious enemies. Aloric would not be able to explain the details of Albeiro's fight, because he planned not to be there.

No, Aloric's own escape rested in his swimming ability.

"Sounds good to me. You're a decent fellow, I suppose. So I'll go this way," (He gestures vaguely to the side) "And you can just keep going. Okay? Okay."

And so Albeiro ran and ran randomly, trying to get away from the wolves. He decided to take alternating left and right turns, and he began running. Soon enough, the wolves' cries died out. This wasn't a problem by itself, but he was lost with a pack of wolves somewhere out there, hunting him. Why did I ever split up? It's not like I'm much safer than I was before. I guess I'll just have to hope that the wolves don't find me.

He heard a growl from behind him. Why does this always happen to me? And he ran some more.

Aloric dashed off, straight forward, running and running and running and running. The wolves were gaining on him, but he didn't think that was a problem now. His plan was to the point where he was unstoppable now. He reached the small river that ran through the rainforest, took one look back at the wolves, stuck out his tongue, splashed in, and sunk himself to the bottom. He faintly heard the wolves' bodies plunge in after him, but they couldn't seem to sink themselves like he had done. They floated weakly on the surface, their barks penetrating the water's surface down to where Aloric was swimming, eyes closed and cheeks puffed.

Running out of breath. Running... out of... breath...

The dogs swam back to shore, unable to catch their quarry. Just a little longer, he thought to himself. Just a little more drowning action, and they will be gone. He went limp, but didn't float to the top of the water. The wolves, frowning and perplexed, left Aloric for dead.

Aloric snapped out of his limp state - that was just for show - and swam to the shore on the other side and came up for breath. "Gah!" he screamed, finally sucking in the fresh air that he deserved. As he wiped his eyelids dry, he opened his eyes.

Pitch black. Total darkness.

And he didn't know where he was.

Albeiro ran and ran until he reached a river. "Well, this stinks. A thousand wolves behind me and a slow-moving river full of wolves in front of me. Well, there's only one thing that I can do." And he did. His years of playing hopscotch as a child finally paid off as he hopped from one bobbing wolf to another until he finally reached the other side. "Just try and mess with me no-"

The ground collapsed under him, dropping him into a cave between the river and the land. "Peachy. Just peachy. Now I'm stuck in a cave, and if there's a way out, chances are that it leads to a river full of wolves."

Aloric slammed head first into what he assumed was a tree.

"Sure wish I had night vision!" He couldn't see a darned thing as it was, what with the rainforest being in total darkness. If he had had it his way, he would be curled up in his hammock outside of danger, sleeping soundly.

But no, he had had to go off and attempt a rescue mission. And look where it got him. The person he had saved was probably well on his way to dying, and Aloric wasn't much better off. His eyes stung from being in the river, and he was unable to tell which direction he was going in, or what was in front of him.

"Ow!" He had just ran into another tree.

"Life sucks."

*********************************

After an enternity of fumbling around in the darkness, Aloric suspected he had finally reached some sort of shelter. It had walls (though rough walls they were, and felt very much like stone). It had an opening (and appeared incapable of closing, as Aloric could not find a door). And so he ventured in, hoping he would be welcomed by whoever resided there.

So you can imagine his surprise when he was finally able to see, and saw Albeiro standing inside.

"I got rid of my half of the wolves. You wouldn't happen to have a fire, would you? Because I know of a river teeming with wolf corpses that wouldn't object to being eaten." This was a risk on Albeiro's part. He had no idea how the wolves got there, but he suspected that it was similar to how the wolves following him had been lost. If so, then perhaps this would be the special type of adventurer who knew everything about surviving in the wild. But, of course, Fate couldn't allow that. Not by a long shot.

"Fire? Well, ah, um - I guess I don't have one on me. I must have left it at home. How did you survive the- doesn't matter. I'll, um, go and try some firewood. I guess. It's really dark out there. And, um... I think we're lost. But that's OK! I'll find some... firewood..." And so he took off, back out of the cavern.

Well shoot, if only I had collected some branches from the trees I found via bumping. Then I wouldn't have to get another headache. He proceeded to walk around blindly until he came in contact with something, then he would grab around at the ground until he came back up with a few branches.

It was slow going, and hard work, as his head was starting to hurt. He assumed Albeiro would be out trying to find some wood as well... then he came back to reality. Who was he kidding? Albeiro would stand in the cave shivering until Aloric came back and attempted to set up a campfire.

Albeiro wasn't the only one cold. Aloric was still wet from his little swim in the river, and now all the wilderness was sticking to his wet body. He comforted himself by thinking he'd be warm soon, sitting by a fire, roasting a wolf or two. Revenge was sweet.

Then he'd have to deal with that Albeiro character. How did the little pest manage to keep showing up?

Albeiro walked out of the cave soon after Aloric, walking the opposite way that Aloric had come, and he started to pick up branches. As he picked them up, he thought about Aloric. Just who is he? He gets caught by the amazons that I'm escaping from, he's constantly chased by wolves and, more recently, amazons, and, for some reason, I always seem to end up worse off because of it.

Albeiro shook his head. It was no time to bother with him. It was time to put his sticks in a pile and get some wolf corpses from the river. Fortunately, there was a path to the river on this side of the cave, and so he got there fairly easily. He fished out two wolf carcasses and was about to fish out a third one when he saw, inexplicably, the corpse of a camel floating down the river. Hungrily, Albeiro reached out with the sacrificial knife that he still had on him, hoping to reach the camel. He reached it, but when he pulled, he pulled himself into the river. He pulled himself out of the water, with the knife still in the camel corpse, and watched it float away. He shook himself off and walked back to the cave, carrying his pair of wolf carcasses with him.

Figuring he had gathered enough campfire to start a fire of a reasonable size, Aloric attempted to head in the direction of the cave. Of course, he wasn't sure how big a reasonably sized fire was, but he was sure he had enough firewood for it. He could barely hold all of the brances as it was, and some of them were falling to the ground even before he made it to his destination. That took some doing too, because it was still pitch black all around him.

Aloric didn't have any firebuilding skills, but that wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem was that, as he entered the cave, Albeiro was not in sight. This could mean one of two things: either Albeiro had decided to aid Aloric in gathering wood, or his unlucky self had gotten himself into another bind. Aloric knew which way he was betting.

But there was nothing he could do about it presently. Albeiro would have to save his own hide, and Aloric hoped he would bring the wolf carcasses with him. Aloric didn't carry any knives on him, but he knew Albeiro would still have the sacrificial knife in his possession so that they could skin the wolves properly. He regretted having to rely on someone as incompeten as Albeiro. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could do about it. The two were better off together, at least until daybreak, when they could once again see where they were going and try to get out of this mess.

Of course, daybreak meant the Amazon women would once again be searching for someone to sacrifice. Their escape from the rainforest would have to be quick.

Yeah right.

Albeiro walked into the cave's clearing slowly, dragging along the two wolves. "I got the wolves, Aloric." He slowly dragged them into the cave, where he saw that a fire hadn't been started. "Okay, so what do you have to have in order to make a fire? Tinder, check. Flint, no idea. And something to hit the flint with, check. So do you have flint? Oh, yeah, and I lost the sacrificial knife."

Aloric ignored the fact that Albeiro had asked him if he had any flint. "What do you mean you lose the sacrificial knife?! Now how are we going to skin these wolves?!" Idiot.

Aloric sighed. "I suppose we could use my sword to skin these things, but someone could get hurt doing that." Aloric held out his sword to Albeiro. "So you do it."

Aloric ran through his backpack, hoping to find something useful, such as flint. he found it. "I'll make the fire, you skin those wolves. But I'm not sure a fire will keep going in this cave... I sure hope it will. He figured it wouldn't though. Not with Albeiro around anyway.

I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it until sunrise with this guy around. I just don't know...

Well, at least we have a few things going for us, thought Albeiro as he began to skin the wolves. We've thrown off the wolves, we have shelter, and it looks like the amazons have lost us. Thank goodness. Now if I can just finish skinning these...

A while later, he finally finished skinning the first wolf, and he set it aside for Aloric to start cooking for when the fire grew. He started on the second wolf, and it seemed to take forever. Finally, he decided to talk to Aloric. "Hey, Aloric. Who exactly are you? For instance, where are you from, and why were you just wandering around in the rainforest?"

It took a while for Aloric to realize he didn't know exactly how the whole flint and tinder thing worked. He didn't tell Albeiro that, though. He fumbled around a bit with it until finally he managed to create a few sparks. Those sparks disappeared quickly, but soon he figured out how to move the sparks onto the firewood, and a small fire began to grow. Soon, after placing a few more pieces of wood over the area, he had a nice sized fire going.

"Hey, Aloric. Who exactly are you? For instance, where are you from, and why were you just wandering around in the rainforest?"

Aloric sighed heavily. That wasn't an easy question to answer. "A lot has happened to me recently. My journeys have taken me many places. This place, this rainforest, was supposed to contain some ancient buildings that were supposedly inhabited by some ancestors of mine. I was trying to locate that place, in hopes it would tell me a bit more about my family. About my past. Apparently, I don't know my way around too well, because here I am, blind in the night, and I still haven't found those ruins." He realized he was practically telling this Albeiro person his entire lifestory, and he didn't even care for the guy. But sometimes, it was these people that were the only people who listened.

Aloric sure didn't think Albeiro liked him either, and was probably asking about him only because he knew so little of Aloric that he didn't trust him completely. Aloric had no trouble trusting Albeiro. In fact, he could rely on Albeiro pretty well to get into trouble.

"Dare I ask how you managed to get yourself out and into this rainforest? You look like a person better suited to city living." So do I, Aloric thought.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I ducked into the rainforest to get out of the rain. I got lost after that, and when I tried to ask for directions, the amazons decided to sacrifice me instead. Then you showed up, and you know the story from there." The skinning was slow going, and after about five minutes, he got bored again. "So if I understand you correctly, you're planning on somehow getting into these ruins and finding information on your ancestors who may or may not have left records behind, and then you're going to somehow just waltz out of the rainforest unscathed? Foolish. Not as foolish as hiding from the rain in a rainforest, I admit, but foolish enough. Don't expect me to join you tomorrow. There's enough trouble out there without me looking for it. Ah, finished!"

Albeiro caught Aloric up to speed on how he had managed to get captured by the Amazoans. Aloric giggled to himself: Albeiro wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

"So if I understand you correctly, you're planning on somehow getting into these ruins and finding information on your ancestors who may or may not have left records behind, and then you're going to somehow just waltz out of the rainforest unscathed? Aloric simply nodded. He hadn't put it exactly in those terms, but that had been the plan, at least until now. "Foolish. Not as foolish as hiding from the rain in a rainforest, I admit, but foolish enough." Aloric realized that it wasn't a great basis for a quest, but it was a quest that he had to accomplish, be it now or be it later. It simply had to be done, or else he would spend many years questioning what he may have found in those ruins. The journey to the rainforest had taken long enough. While he was here, he hoped to accomplish what he had set out to do. He'd rather not come back here.

"Don't expect me to join you tomorrow. There's enough trouble out there without me looking for it. Ah, finished!"

Aloric started gathering the wolf carcasses that Albeiro had finished skinning with Aloric's sword. "You may not have a choice. Tomorrow, those warrior women will surely be after us again. You can bet your life on it. I wouldn't be surprised if we spent most of the day running away from this place." He sighed. "Though I had hoped to find the ancient ruins, it simply may not be possible. But all that is just speculation."

Aloric felt like this Albeiro character wasn't as bad as he had first seemed. Annoying, yes. Troublesome, yes. But a good lad at heart, Aloric presumed.

We'll see how much I like him later. He's bound to get me into some more trouble yet.

"You've definitely got a point there." Hmm... I guess I should change my plans. I overlooked the fact that the amazons won't be stopped by a simple river. Hmm... "How about I help you find these ruins, and then you can help me find the way out of here. That's an even trade, as long as you uphold your part of it."

Albeiro watched as Aloric began to cook the wolves. The aroma teased his nostrils, and he started to salivate like there was no tomorrow. He licked his lips and smiled in anticipation, fighting off the urge to lunge for the meat as it cooked. It had been days since he had eaten meat, and he was filled with excitement as the wolves slowly became juicier and juicier. Tears came to his eyes because of the magnificent beauty of the sight before him. Oh, the beauty!

"Our first objective is to escape from any Amazoans that may or may not confront us tomorrow," Aloric said. "After that, finding a way out of here, and finding the ancient ruins, may be the same goal. The ruins are supposed to be deep in the rainforest, but upon finding the ruins, one is able to find a guided path out of here. Hard to find, easy to exit. At least, that's what I've been told. I've never actually been there, so we have a good chance of getting lost on the way. Which wouldn't be a first for us."

Time passed, and the meat was cooking nicely. Aloric noted that Albeiro was wild with hunger, looking at the cooking meat lustfully. Aloric shook his head, almost in disapproval. He wondered what would happen after they finished the meal. Would another unlucky fate fall upon them? Or would they make it until the morning unscathed, only to wake to women chasing after them? Aloric didn't think too much about it. The most important thing was that they were about to have a good meal, something he suspected neither of them had had in a while.

"So where do you come from? Who is your family?" The more Aloric knew about this man, the more he knew about his real motives for being here. Running from the rain was a good enough explanation for a man like Albeiro, but Aloric suspected he had other motives for coming out this long way. He wanted to find out what those motives were.

Albeiro needed to get his mind off of that delicious, juicy, tender-NO! He needed a distraction, and he took the first one that came. "My family? My parents were killed in a freak chandelier accident when I was two days old. My guardians, who I hated, by the way, were killed when my village burned down. I think I'm the only survivor. I've been taking apprenticeships left and right, but I keep on losing them unfairly. Finally, I just decided to quit and find out what was making me so unlucky. I got caught by bandits, though, and after I escaped I decided not to try to alter my fate again. I've been wandering around, trying to make a living ever since."

He snuck around back and took a small rope from Aloric's pack, just in case he ever needed it, counting on his moderately long story to cover up his theft.

It was unfathomable that anyone could have as bad of luck as this fellow Albeiro had. Aloric was in shock. A burned down village, captured by bandits and Amazoans, a freak chandelier accident... Aloric tried to think of something to say, anything. Words weren't coming. He couldn't think of anything. He wanted to say something.

"That sucks."


*********************

The meat was finished cooking.

Aloric grabbed a nice chunk of the meat and set about consuming it. The wolf meat was tough, but Aloric managed to get some down. Oh, it was heavenly. He couldn't remember the last time he had had anything like it. For a while, he had been instructed by Paliath to give up red meat, but now he saw that was nonsense. This tasted so good.

Albeiro waited until the meat had cooled down enough (e.g. when Aloric started to eat it), and then he reached forward to grab a piece himself. He didn't know whether to chew slowly because it was so good or to chew fast because he had gone without meat for so long. He reached a happy medium by alternating, and thus made himself look a bit silly. He didn't care, though. He doubted Aloric noticed; they were both too busy eating. Oh, this is wonderful. Nothing can go wrong. ...What did I just say?! Albeiro threw down the rest of his food, knowing full well that something bad was about to happen. And here I almost got around my pre-emptive karma. Now-Oh no. Oh NO! There, in the front of the cave, was a scaly, gigantic foot. A head suddenly filled nearly the entire cave entrance as it sniffed and breathed in. One, two...

Suffice to say, this was the lair of a dragon who was recently evicted of his mountain lair. Now, dragons instinctually know only one defense mechanism, but it's a good one. It's also, unfortunately, the one that this dragon was using. Albeiro ran out of the cave, followed, he hoped, by Aloric. He dove out of the cave just as the dragon's breath filled the cavern. Albeiro turned away, not willing to watch. It was then that he saw the oncoming tree. I should have looked where I was going. As he blacked out, the last thing that he heard was the dragon's cry.

How could anyone have possible forseen this coming?

As Albeiro and Aloric had been dining on the fine wolf meat, there was suddenly a slight rumble in the earth. And, though his vision wasn't at its finest under the circumstances, he made out the shape of a rather large foot in front of the cave.

Oh no, Aloric thought. Bigfoot.

Aloric had been wrong, of course. Everybody knows that the large sasquatch didn't really exist. But big dragons - big, big, dragons - well, they did exist. Aloric suspected that Albeiro's bad luck was back in gear. The very fact that Aloric was running around with Albeiro meant he had bad luck too, but he wasn't about to blame the dragon's appearance on himself. No, this was Albeiro's doing.

The dragon huffed and he puffed and he blew the cave down. OK, he didn't blow the cave down, that wouldn't have made sense. It was his cave, after all. But as he blew, fire spread throughout the cave.

"He's gotta show me how he did that!" Aloric exclaimed, eager to learn new firemaking techniques.

But this wasn't the time. He'd learn the dragon's secrets later. As for now, he had to manage a way to escape from the dragon's fire. Albeiro had already clambered out of the cave; apparently he had seen the dragon first and had not bothered to mention it to Aloric. Aloric vs. the dragon. If this had been a gambling opportunity, he'd of course put his money on the dragon. Given the circumstances, however, he decided it was better to root for the underdog. He dodged the flames, this way and that, and slowly made his way out of the cave.

And there was Albeiro, lying on the ground. Unconscious.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Aloric shouted as he picked up Albeiro's limp body. He grunted, then threw the body over his shoulder. Then he ran.

Thud-thud. Thud-thud. Thud-thud.

Albeiro recognized this pattern. It was the footsteps of a highly experienced runner. Not the kind of runner who ran for sport or money. No, this was the kind of runner who knew what danger was and exactly how they needed to run from it. Albeiro knew of only one person besides himself that could run this way; he had noticed it while running from the wolves and amazons. Aloric. And, judging by the position that he was currently in, he was simply slowing Aloric down. Albeiro opened his eyes and spoke. "Let me down. As long as I'm awake, I can run as fast as you can." A roar pierced the air behind them. "Especially with the proper motivation."

Sweat poured down Aloric's face. He didn't know where the dragon was now, the thing could be flying over top of him and he wouldn't have been able to tell. It didn't matter. Aloric knew only one thing, that he was going to run until his feet fell apart. He wasn't about to wait for the dragon to catch up and invite him to dinner. Aloric's appetite had been ruined, anyhow.

But given the current situation, there was only one thing Aloric really wanted to change: the darkness. He couldn't see a gosh darned thing. He felt like he should have bumped into at least a few trees by now, but somehow he had escaped every tree that was in his path. Someone up there really likes playing games with me. First, they get me into the worst of adventures, then they give me a little luck so I can go on thinking everything will be OK. Then, they get me into even more worse adventures.

And despite all that, he was still carrying Albeiro over his shoulder. "Let me down. As long as I'm awake, I can run as fast as you can. Especially with the proper motivation." The motivation was there, all right. Aloric had heard the dragon's roar coming from behind.

"Gladly!" Aloric put the poor little man back down on his feet. He was relieved to find all of Albeiro's weight gone from his shoulder. That little guy certainly weighed more than he appeared to. Or maybe Aloric was just tired. He also wondered how long Albeiro had been conscious again. He had probably let Aloric carry him for a little while longer so he could get some shut-eye. Anyway, apparently they were still ahead of the dragon. Perhaps the dense rainforest had rendered him unable to move as quickly as he wanted to, Aloric postulated. Whatever. It didn't matter. They were winning the race.

But where were they going?

"You think you can be able to run around without walking into any more trees? I'd rather not carry you again. You weigh more than a ton of bricks."

"Well, if you haven't run into any trees in this area, then we can probably avoid running into any more. Let's just run until the dragon gives up." And then, due to some twist of Fate (he wasn't paying attention since he was out to dinner), Albeiro actually managed to keep on going without running into any more trees. Albeiro was too tired and sleepy to notice; he only had running on his mind. Sooner or later, he knew, he'd have to stop. Until then, though, his thoughts would consist of Left, Right, Left, Right... all throughout the night.

The dragon was far behind them now, Aloric believed, though he couldn't see it. It was far too big to maneuver through the density. The same could be said of Aloric and Albeiro however. Aloric was busy tripping over shrubberies and the sort, and if he could see Albeiro he would probably be doing the same thing. They were lucky not to be running into any more trees.

Suddenly, a small candle ignited.

What? A candle??

Aloric's eyes felt as if they were about to squeeze. He didn't know how long he had been running, but the whole time he had been in a pitch black environment. He closed his eyes for a long while, letting the light slowly slip in under his eyelids. Then he opened them.

Well, they sure weren't in the rainforest anymore.

"Y'all be trespassin'! This ere's private property!"

Aloric blinked in disbelief. Where on Arda were they? And why did this stranger have a weird accent?

"At's a federal offense!"

At the very least, this explained why they hadn't been bumping into trees in so long.

Albeiro blinked, seeing a candle, and got his mind off of the Left Right Left Right track and onto the Don't Throw Me In Prison track. "Private property? The rain...forest? Where'd the rainforest go?"

"Ah cain bairly understaind y'all's aiccent. What's all this talk 'bout a rainy forest? Yer gonna 'ave to face the shay-riff for this. Y'all should be worried 'bout that instaid. And, unfortunaitly fer y'all, Ah'm the shay-riff. Nahw, do y'all want ta do this the easy way or the hard way?"

"But I don't have an 'aiccent'..." Aloric soon realized the futility of his argument.

"Nahw, do y'all want ta do this the easy way or the hard way?"

"I suppose you could define what exactly occurs in both the easy and hard ways, so that we can make a more informed decision." Aloric mentally slapped himself. "On the other hand, I guess we can just say we'll take the easy way. Yeah. That'd be easier."

Sherrifs? Private property? Strange accents?

Aloric missed the dragon. And the wolves.



((Sorry it's short))