Even with gods like Lothlomendil and Raku well established, there was some controversy, without a doubt, across Arda as to the existance of lower deities. Those who argued that gods did not exist to regulate every single aspect of the world would say what was about to happen was pure coincidence. Those who thought that gods of Irony, Fate, and bad humor would think otherwise, that the coming mayhem was the work of either divine boredom, or an inebriated bet gone awry.

It began from 3 different points of view. However, only one of those points will be shown here (because to do otherwise is intensely frowned on in the rules).

Ian DeSarva Vaner strutted into the pub, hoping that they served food that suited his refined palate. Growing up in a self-declared noble family had left Ian with what he called "sophisticated tastes", but the rest of us would regard it as outright snobbery. He was dismayed to find that the pub was downright PACKED. Only 3 seats next to each other at a wall-mounted table were available. He took the right seat, rather unaware of his surroundings, and to the fact that 2 other people had picked the center and left seats. Hey, he was thinking, and he also had to squeeze his way past many other patrons of the pub.

He sighed, closed his eyes for a bit, and opened them. Then he looked to his left, realized what was going on, and promptly slammed his head down intot he table.

"LOTHLOMENDIL, WHY!?"

Meglumar had come back to the city of grand city of Lómëdor, after having visited the sanctuary of angels and learning many new skills. OK, by many, that meant two. Either way, he planned on staying there for a while. However, he found himself being asked by a small group of merchants to escort them BACK to Lómëdor. Since he knew the path out of the Misty Forest by heart, having gotten lost in there more times than could be counted, he had no choice but to help them. it was his duty, it was his privilege, and it was the only way to make any decent gold to continue staying at the Inn he had chosen.

The small group would be trading all day, which meant he had the time off. Naturally, he wanted to see the best of Lómëdor, as last time he had run into Ian, and that basically ruined his time in the city. Ever since he met that pretentious, annoying, arrogant, stuck up, conceited, and overall not-nice man, life had gotten worse! Granted, at first he seemed to not be SO bad, but ever since meeting that monster in the swamp, well, Ian was obviously now evil and insane.

He decided to head to the Inn, fairly hungry. He stopped a random passerby, an elven commoner, from his looks. He seemed fairly nice, and gave the directions as best he could. Meglumar thanked the man, left. He promptly got lost in the large city for a good 10 minutes, having taken one right turn too soon. Well, all of these large, well built, and nearly identical buildings were confusing for the former farm boy! Stone and wood buildings, all with the same coloring! All with the same kind of build! How confusing!

Eventually, he found his way into the Inn. As he glanced through the windows, he saw that it was it crowded today. He walked in, and found it to be MORE crowded than he could see through the windows! He hoped he'd be able to find a table. Wait, there, against the wall! There was a table! He dashed to it, taking one of the seats, and sighing in relief. He got it just in time, he heard 2 others nab the other seats. There was likely a third who was going for his seat, but that poor slob was too slow!

He closed his eyes beneath his mask, and thanked the gods. Getting a seat was absolutley perfect...Or so he thought. When he opened them, and looked across the table, there was Ian. In the other chair was another person he knew quite well. He too slammed his masked face into the table. "LOTHLOMENDIL, WHY!?", He exclaimed as well. His bad luck was awful. There was NO denying that. But by the GODS, DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS BAD!? It just didn't seem natural! Was some other being, some sick and depraved being, messing with his life just to cause this madness?!

Ein had finally regained some memories of his precious girlfriend, and had been searching high and wide for her. He had flown to at least 5 forests and 3 towns besides this one before deciding to rest more than a few hours. He HAD to find her. He found himself flying over to Lómëdor. It was the largest city in all the lands, who knew? Fia might have been there, but before that....He needed to feed himself and rest for awhile.

Ein had wandered into a inn/pub to get something to eat and drink, and thought he had the perfect luck since there were three open seats, two of which two other people occupied and then they left the one in the middle open. Smiling at his luck, he thanked the God's for blessing him with a small fortune. He walked over and sat down in the middle, which was the last open chair and received a few odd looks since white feathers were dropping from his cloak.

The seats were absolutely perfect! And then he noticed, the two people next to him slammed their faces into the table and yelled "LOTHLOMENDIL, WHY!?". A bit startled, Ein looked at the two more carefully then finally noticed, It was Ian and Meglumar! His friends! "AH! It's Ian-san and Meglumar-san! What a odd coincidence!" Ein said with a rather naive smile. He didn't quite know how much tension there was at the moment, and it would soon bite him in the ass for deciding to go Balance instead of Heroic aligned, since he was sitting RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of a Holy Paladin and a....Evil(?) Swordsman.

Ian was about to launch a tirade of profanity directed at Meglumar, but then what Ecthel said jarred him out of it. "Ian-san"?

"Ein, you have pale skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. I recognize the -san term from a few samurai and ninjas I've met before, It's Japanese, isn't it? You don't strike me as Japanese..."

Factual inconsistencies, it seems, were enough to stop Ian from ranting his head off. But not enough to keep him that way. "I won't bother asking what YOU are doing here, Meglumar..." Ian seethed, practically spitting out each syllable of Meglumar's name. Ian took a look around the room. Please, there HAD to be another seat somewhere. THERE! RIGHT THERE! Ian started getting out of his seat, but then realized it was just a gnome who had sat in the chair before and was tying his boots, who then sat up. Damn!

Well, Ian rationalized, Meglumar wouldn't try anything. And Ian still had a clean slate, aside from being an ass. If Anyone was going to start a fight, It'd be Meglumar, who would, Ian deducted, possibly try to kill him as a preventative measure. Ein's presence calmed Ian down enough, and re-assured him. The first one of them, Ian or Meglumar, to attack the other would have to deal with Ein as well, probably. And Ian had to keep face around Ein, who he was still bent on corrupting to the dark side. And the fact Ein's perpetual "Big eyes, please don't fight, nuuuu, i'm innocent and trusting" Look pacified Ian the way a puppy would calm down an angry mob. Aww, puppy.

Meglumar stared at Ian with eyes filled with hate. Hate and rage. It was to be expected, All things considered. If it were not for the fact that Ian was not committing crimes yet, and this was a public area which he'd have to pay to repair if a fight broke out. It was likely the two of them would be fighting to the death until the other was slain, seriously injured, or knowing how much of an ass Ian was, Until Ian ripped off Meglumar's mask in an attempt to throw him into a hellish world of misery and nightmares.

"Likewise, Ian." Meglumar hissed out behind his dual-colored mask, his green eyes narrowed as if he was trying to stare Ian to death. A shame, Meglumar lacked any killer vision, but alas, it could not be helped...yet. He too, looked around, hoping another seat would free up. he was not happy with this seat one bit. He'd rather not eat with a man who had the sanity and humility of an crazed High Elf Nobleman. Most, if not all, elves were nice enough people, but by the GODS, High Elven noblemen were 9 out of 10 times complete JERKS! It was a sad truth Meglumar had noticed over time, but he still did his best to reserve such judgments until after they proved jerklihood or otherwise.

....Maybe Ian was part elf, as well as part nymph? It certainly would explain a lot. His unbelievable arrogance could somehow be genetic. Maybe some dwarf as well, to make ub his stubbornness and arrogance? Was it possible Ian was nothing more than the embodiment of negative parts of all races? Now THAT would certainly make more sense! There was no possible way a person could EVER be raised with that much overall smugness, could there? Well, perhaps. This country bumpkin WAS naive at times, and thought at heart, all people were inherently good. Ian, though, was starting to throw all that out the window. And use the remnants of those ideals to scrape the glass out of the ground. Then incinerate both the idea AND the glass.

"The winter clan is Japanese, as was my father. I inherited my mother's looks and wings." Ein said with a smile. One could swear that even for a 18 year old man, he could make any child look like they completely lost their innocence compared to him. He was like a innocent little puppy, though unaware of that fact. Also the attitude completely clashed with his skills in fighting. Such a odd boy. He looked over the menu a bit. Ein apparently remembered how to read, however....He didn't know what anything one the menu was!

"....'Warning Spicy'....? I wonder what that is. Maybe it tastes good?" Ein said to himself quietly as he ordered what was apparently a extremely spiced beef. But Ein didn't know what "Spicy" meant and all he had at the moment was glass of water. He also ordered Milk since he at least remembered what that was. The man who took his order gave him a slightly worried look, then shrugged and went off to deliver his order.

"Anyways! I haven't seen Meglumar since he saved me, and Ian since he....Got me to drink Warlock's Punch." Ein said wryly at the last bit. He remembered the feeling of extreme pain when he drank the unholy alcoholic brew that Ian made. It made him throw up 3 times, and he threw up BLACK.

Ian couldn't resist letting out a snicker when Ein mentioned the Warlock Punch incident. "Oh come on, you only had one sip. It's healthy for you, with all those vitamins and sugars, honest. I even use it on my hair." As he finished his sentence, he tossed one of his long bronze locks over his shoulder to emphasize the point. Actually, a question of whether or not it was genetics or the Warlock Punch that made his hair metallic bronze would be worth asking...

Ian would have warned Ein about the Spicy thing, if he had realized that Ein didn't remember what certain words meant. But then he realized just what it was that Ein had said.

"Winter CLAN, Ein? Oho, You are part of a clan as well? What status does it have?" Ian was avoiding Meglumar at this point. He'd have dearly loved to at least fling a few profanities at him, but there was an innocent Ein present, so he kept his foul mouth shut.

Then he noticed an odd tingling under every inch of his skin. It was faint, and had been on and off for the past few weeks, but this was the first sustained period of more then 3 seconds. He didn't know it, but his innate nymph lineage was beginning to assert itself. Given that Nymphs have longer lifespans, the age of 'Puberty' and proper development for them was about a decade later than humans, which meant that, 10 years after Ian had done so, his nymph-ancestry was coming of age. He simply thought he was having an allegic reaction to something, as it WAS the beginning of spring, after all.

Putting his concerns aside, he took a look at his menu.

"Let's see...Bah, most of it is but kitschy commoner or tourist food. Ah, here we go."

Ian had decided, and once the waiter returned, he asked for a Rack of lamb, 3 roasted sweet potatoes, a loaf of cornbread with a side of honey, coleslaw, and a bowl of 3 bean soup. What the hell? THAT INSANE AMOUNT OF FOOD WAS A REGULAR MEAL FOR HIM!? Oh wait no, it got worse. Close inspection of the menu revealed these were all appetizers. THIS WAS JUST THE FIRST COURSE. How Ian stayed thin if he ate that much every meal, or for that matter, HAD ANY MONEY, was a complete mystery.

Meglumar's staring eyes continued staring at Ian with a stare of intense hate that seemed to only grow stronger. He heard Ein talk, and simply nodded towards him. "It has been a long while, hasn't it? Accomplish anything more for your memory recall?" He asked, doing his best to not vent his hatred onto Ein. He had to keep it in check, lest he do something stupid. And he would not do so in front of Innocent Ein and Evil Ian. Ein would probably just laugh, but Ian....IAN.....Well, he would not lose in ANY way shape or form against that monster! He'd rather has his mask forced off and left for dead on some abandoned island! Defeat from such an unholy, unkind, and overall corrupt individual would be the worst possible thing EVER!

When the waiter returned, Ian decided to be a glutton, and order the most expensive half of the appetizer menu! How deplorable and wasteful! Surely he could make do with less! Or at least give some to the poor! Good lord, HOW did he get the money for such a meal? Once he was done, Meglumar tried to place an order of his own over the loud rambunctious words of a few other patrons, one for milk, bread, a turkey leg, and some mashed potatoes. A good sized meal, one he would enjoy, and one not TOO heavy on the wallet. In other words, a perfect meal for a wandering paladin.

"So, what have you all been up to?" He asked, trying to make polite smalltalk. It was possible to see it as a way to try to trap Ian. But really, it was not. It was just the best way Meglumar could possibly be polite and maintain composure. It would be a good way to waste the time while the food and drinks arrived. And right now, Ian and he would probably NEED a distraction, lest this nuclear warhead of contempt explode right on them. If such a thing happened, There might not be anything left of the building in the end!

"Err...Yeah. The Winter-Clan was a group of Japanese, and of course my family. Although it's safe to say I'm exiled from the way I'm acting now, they're a group of exterminators. Well, more accurately, DEMON exterminators. We're assassins." Ein said, somehow maintaining his smile. It was curious how he could so easily maintain his composure after revealing that his family was a family of assassins, but, since they did great services towards villages and the such, so his family didn't have THAT bad of a name....Except him since Ein had taken exterminating a bit too far, since he exterminated humans who he deemed evil as well.

"Ahhh...Well, I relearned how to fight after breaking Ian's Longsword, and I also remembered what my girlfriend's name and appearance was, so I've been searching for her." Ein said as he took a sip of his water. In reality, he was STILL searching for her, this was a along the way type of thing. He didn't quite remember everything that had to do with Fia, but he remembered most of the important details.

Ian decided to shower Meglumar in a burst of pure sarcasm. Ein could probably handle that. Maybe. Ian wasn't sure if Ein could pick up Sarcasm, and might take him seriously. Oh what the hell. Ian began to lay it on with the most absolutely insulting, snide tone he could muster.

"Oh nothing much, Meglumar, Just me plotting the overthrow of civilization, devouring babies like you'd eat crackers, kicking random elderly people, laying waste to every monument to human decency I can find, and, if I'm particularly bored on a weekend, I may dabble in sacrificing innocent children to Raku."

After a quick glance at Ein to make sure whether or not Ein had taken him seriously, Ian then glared at Meglumar and switched back to his normal tone. "Is THAT what you want me to say? Honestly, stop demonizing me, your the one who acts like a pretentious Holier-then-thou at every damned moment. HONESTLY!" Ian pounded his fist on the table to emphasize his last word. He then sulked and began speaking to Ein.

"I See, Ein. Well, I'm certain you two get along just fine. I'd watch out for Meglumar, though, anything less then pure and divine is evidentally nothing more then the embodiment of hatred and suffering in human form, out to fill the world with chaos."

Meglumar could sense the sarcasm in Ian's voice. It was so blatantly obvious, that unless he was an idiot...OK, MORE of an idiot, he would not get it. He then heard Ian try to make Meglumar off as a bad person! How horrid. "Now, now, Ian, that is prejudicial against Paladins. I'm not stupid enough to think in such a way. I only dislike people with purely evil thoughts and deeds." He said, sitting in his chair, annoyed with Ian's words.

"It's true, i dislike you strongly, probably even HATE you...And would love nothing more than see you rot in a prison cell for all of time. But, i'm not about to let my hate cloud my judgment." He said, rolling his eyes.

Ein suddenly felt EXTREMELY depressed at Ian's last sentence....Because that was how HE had acted in the past, and he killed countless amounts of people with that ideal in mind. "Umm....Well, so long as he doesn't act like I did in the past and kill even children with that idea in mind...." Ein said. His tone sounded....Dead now for whatever reason. Side effect of his depression? Most likely.

While sitting in a rather large amount of depression, Ein's food soon arrived, and his eyes flickered over to the dish. It was sliced meat in some sort of RED sauce. Ein looked at it curiously before poking at it with his fork. It LOOKED safe to eat, somewhat, but for some odd reason, it was like a alarm was going off in his head saying that something bad would happen if he ate it.

"Hmn....What is this sauce?....Could this be the 'spicy' that I saw on the menu?..." Ein said as he took a bite of his meal. It tasted fine at first, a little bit salty. He chewed thoughtfully, before he noticed a odd feeling growing in his mouth. It tingled a little bit, and gradually, the feeling grew clearer and clearer. It was a MASSIVE amount of PAIN AND BURNING IN HIS MOUTH! Ein's face flashed crimson and his eyes widened. "IT BURNS!!!!!" Ein yelled.

Ian at first looked guilty. Obviously, what he'd said had made Ein sad. He felt like he'd just told a 6 year old in crutches Santa wasn't real. Or clubbed a baby seal. Or told that same 6 year old that his parents were getting a divorce because they hated him. Oh god, this was a mark against his soul. He'd BURN IN HELL if he made Ein cry. But then he heard Ian question what the spicy sauce was, and he saw a chance to redeem himself somewhat.

"The Milk, Ein, the Milk! Don't you know what spicy food is? Milk and starch are the best, here..."

Ian's food had arrived in the time he was moping over making Ein upset, so he shoved his plate of sweet potatos over to Ein. "Drink the milk, then eat some potato."

Ian knew damned well this would elicit some form of reaction from Meglumar, and just decided to explain beforehand. "What? Don't look at me that way. Did you see his face after I made fun of you? I felt like I'd just cooked and eaten a pet puppy in front of it's 5 year old owner!"

Meglumar did indeed give a reaction: Shock. This was something not expected. Maybe, just maybe, Ian DID have good in his soul after all! He claimed the reaction made him feel very bad, and gave a.....colorful idea of what it was like. "...I see. Perhaps, in a way, this shows I was wrong in some ways.......My apologies for the odd look." He said,w ith a sigh as he looked down at his food, and sighed. "Damn, damn, DAMN...how to eat this...." He muttered, looking down at the leg and other foods. He couldn't take off his mask!

Ein quickly gulped down the milk, his face beginning to return to it's original color. That was the most painful none attack related thing he had ever felt since he nearly died in the Misty Forest. "So delicious....Yet so painful....So THATS what spicy was." Ein said as he gulped down the glass of water next to his milk. He then nodded in thanks to Ian and began eating some of the Sweet Potatoes. He seemed to recognize the taste, but...As the spicyness WAS rather intense on his tongue, his sense of taste was rather screwy.

"Eating in pubs and such is going to be a tricky business for me from now on I guess." Ein said with a slight sigh. "Anyways, I meant to ask sometime or another, but...Meglumar, why do you always wear a mask?" Ein asked. He had never seen Meglumar's face before, and he wondered if it was scarred or something or maybe even disfigured! Little did he know it was the EXACT OPPOSITE.

Ian couldn't resist. He had an inner trickster. Something in him that took great joy out of a good prank. And this was an oppurtunity.

"Well Ein...Meglumar and I are both part Nymphs. You know, the avatars of beauty? Well, Meglumar can't control his power, unlike myself, so...Oh forget it. THIS is why, Ein!"

And with that, Ian cast a haste spell on himself, and tried as fast as he could to yank Meglumar's mask off.

With a Flash, Meglumar's mask was off. He screamed in fear, and tried to cover his face. However, it was too late, the damage was done. The women in the tavern looked as Meglumar screamed out, and a few seconds later, several were at the table. "Gods no...GODS NO...." He muttered, grabbing the mask back and fastening it back on. The immediate effects of the spell were over....but the damage was still done. The women at nearby tables seemed to move their tables closer to theirs. Two nymphs and a child-like angel at one table? This was bad for the 3.

"Ian....you had to do that, didn't you?" He said, irritated. He looked around, and sighed. It was actually a somewhat good thing. He removed his mask, and took a bite from the turkey leg. "...Meh....your mischief got me a chance to eat at least." What was the worst that could happen now? Well, aside from being stalked by these women, mainly the single ones. But he could easily dodge hem with his lack of directional skills. "So...yeah.....Part nymph.....Inhuman attraction "skills." Ugh, it's such a PAIN. Nothing good for a Paladin of justice!"

"Ummm...Wow. Thats rather unique." Ein said rather surprised by the sudden rush of people coming over. It was pretty cool and all, but the only problem was, women seemed to be moving closer to HIM as well. Ein's face gradually turned red from the awkwardness as the women watched him eat, some looking around his age giggled at him. Ein laughed nervously as he waved at them, causing them to giggle once again. "Umm...This is bad." He said quietly. Many of the girls were staring at his now revealed wings, and a younger girl even touched them causing them to shiver a bit while he ate.

"This...Is awkward." Ein said nervously as he closed his eyes. He was ready to just finish his meal as quickly as possible then take off if this continued. His shyness however, just caused some of the girls to move even closer to him. Imagine if he casted Enchant now.

Ian snickered. "Awww, how cute. They like you Ein." Ian ruffled Ein's hair with his hand. "Is Ickle Ein nervous around girls? Don't be shy, they don't have cooties...They won't bite you, Ein."

And Ian cracked up laughing. This was just hysterical. It seemed that out of the 3 of them, he was only one capable of tolerating female attention. So, while thinking of ways to continue the hilarity, Ian had a stark realization. And he got an idea. A Nasty Idea. A NASTY, AWFUL, Terrible Idea. But did he listen to us? No...

"Oh shut up, it's a good idea!"

So Ian spoke to Ein, seriously this time.

"Ein, with this amount of attraction from the girls to you, and now that I remember your an amnesiac...Ein, do you remember "The Talk"?"

THE TALK. The most feared event in a young childs life. The day innocence waves bye-bye, and you learn the 'wonders' of reproduction. If Ein had all these women attracted to him, Ian reasoned, he should know what to do. It was for Ein's own good, even if he'd possibly cover his ears and start crying halfway through it. Ian would have some fun with the topic, of course, but Ein needed to get the right information. And who would know best about sex ed then the Vaner clan, a clan devoted to breeding the races?

Meglumar was in the middle of eating his turkey leg when he heard Ian ask Ein about the talk. There was NO way this could end well at all. ESPECIALLY not when you considered all the variables. One, all these women around? If the horrendous levels of bad luck persisted, these women might try to explain it and, gods forbid, apply it. Second, Ein had apparently remembered a girlfriend of sorts. What if he did something stupid without realizing it until things were too late? That would be horrid. Ian probably would not care though, the evil jerk. He'd probably encourage such things!

Meglumar placed down the large leg back onto his plate and coughed loudly. "Methinks such a subject should not be talked on in such a place, in this situation." He said, nervously looking around. It seemed the crowd was growing bigger for the 3 of them. "...Check please!" he yelled out to the waiter, hoping to get out of this situation and FAST. A moment later, he saw the waiter get hit over the head by a waitress with a baguette. DAMNATIONS! He was trapped, as were they all. They would have to wait for the waiter to pull himself together and wake up.

He had to think of a way to get this crowd away and FAST. If Ein didn't know this, then they'd need to get these women AWAY. If he did, which he PRAYED he did, this whole situation could be avoided. Still though, if Ein had a girlfriends, and knew THAT, why wouldn't he know about the birds and the bees? Well, Amnesia WAS an annoying disorder, so in some ways it was understandable. To know you had something without knowing why might just be standard for an amnesiac.

Sadly, he could find NOTHING in sight that could save him nor Ein....Ian probably did not care, that pretentious prankster probably was enjoying this sort of attention. Oh, if ONLY the gods could strike Meglumar down or get him out of this place! He'd thank them for all of eternity! Sadly.....such a thing would not happen, not likely.

Innocent little Ein looked rather puzzled at the mention of "The Talk". It seemed...Familiar, and again, something was setting off warning bells in his head, but it sounded important to his future if he found Fia. Perhaps it could help their relationship? Little did he know in what WAY it would take his relationship. "The...Talk? What would that be?" Ein said with curious eyes. He suddenly noticed that the room had gone very much silent and the girls were staring at him differently than before. Not. Good.

"Umm...I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" Ein said slightly surprised. What could have shocked them to that extent? The girls giggled even more and he heard some whispering, some offering to demonstrate if it came to it? Needless to say, Ein was clueless, and that might just be his downfall.

Ian sent a leering glare at the women, full of Malice and anger. It was as much of a demonic look he could pull off, and he darkly intoned his strictest intentions to them. But first, he had to protect the innocent Ein from his foul mouth. He took a "Potion of Shutting the F*** Up Already", something Ian had been given as a 'gift' MANY times, and downed a few drops. The effect was akin to censorship.

"IF YOU VILE [BLEEP!] [BLEEPS!]S LAY BUT A SINGLE PROMISCOUS FINGER ON HIM, I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED FOR PEDOPHILIA SO FAST, YOUR [BLEEP!] WILL TEAR ITSELF OFF! [BLEEP!]ING HELL, I SWEAR."

Once Ian had his obligatory angry rant, and the effects of the potion wore off, He decided he'd tell Ein what THE TALK was, and then, once they were away from the "Harlot Hordes", as Ian dubbed them, he would tell Ein in detail.

"Well Ein, THE TALK is what all children becoming adults recieve. THE TALK is all about the older person, usually a parent or older sibling, telling the younger person all about where babies come from, and the details surrounding it, as well as courtship of a mate, and how to protect yourself."

Ian realized after he'd said "Parent or older sibling", that that was EXACTLY what he was acting like for Ein. He couldn't Help it. Ein was just too freaking cute.

Meglumar, for once, felt compelled to help Ian in this. Leave it to the warrior of BALANCE to keep two people who would normally be ripping each other in half in as violent and painful a way as humanely possible. Well, considering how innocent Ein was, it was not hard to see why. If a person so much as had a SHRED of humanity in them, and was around Ein, they would fight through HELL to keep this innocent one remain as pure and childlike as possible! Ein was a rare case: Completely and utterly devoid of malice and hate, at least from what Meglumar had seen so far. He intended to KEEP it that way.

He placed his mask back on his face, dispelling the enchantment from his face, and his green eyes stared at the various women, his eyes in a piercing gaze. As Ian finished his rant, Meglumar spoke up. "Yes, And I'll be the one doing the arresting. Meglumar said, moving his cloak so his sword could be seen. As a Paladin, he COULD perform arrests in cases where guards were nowhere to be found, and since guards were not in sight, this would be very helpful.

It seems Ian was determined to talk to Ein on this. Oh how JOYOUS AN OCCASION Meglumar thought, aggravated by this. Once Ian finished, Meglumar decided to speak up. "However, we must also keep in mind these circumstances you are in are rather unique. You already have a girlfriend...maybe. This discussion might be best served if we keep that in mind....but then again, maybe you broke up and forgot.....Such a difficult situation this is." He said, muttering the last part to himself. What to do in this kind of situation? What could possibly be done?

...Of course! Make Ian do all the talking and correct him where needed! "....Not it!" He yelled out loud. He was NOT going to get caught with speaking on this subject! He'd rather....rather.....well, remove his mask and never take it back on, and THAT was saying something.

Ein, once again, looked confused, and the girls looked frightened. Sensing their sudden fright, Ein bowed a bit with a apologetic look on his face. "Sorry, and it seems I'm taken anyways." Ein said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. Many of the girls, unable to resist his puppy eyes also apologized and went back to their business. "Hmn. They really are nice people. Maybe I'll make friends with them sometime." Ein said with a innocent/naive smile.

Once that whole ordeal was done, Ein began listening to Ian. "...Where....Babies...Come from?...." Ein said. His eyes looked like that of a small puppy that was being trained by it's master to "Sit". Thats how innocent and naive he looked at the moment.

Ian whispered to Meglumar, as Ein was distrected by the women momentarily, being able to pick up Meglumar's "DO NOT WANT" mood easily from his "not It" outburst. "You may not want to do this, but be responsible! if he doesn't learn these things, he's going to get led off by some mullet the moment we take our eyes off him. "Come here, little boy, I can help you...here, just take that shirt off, that's good..." and SO ON."

Ian was actually pretty sure Meglumar would have no idea what that was, but then, maybe. Ian had seen some rather disturbing things in his time...So he began trying to steer Ein out, paying for his meal and a huge cinnamon roll on the way out. Giving the cinnamon roll to Ein for the sake of Ein having something sweet to munch on as he learned the finer details to life, Ian began to weave an introduction.

"Alright Ein...Happy with your Cinnamon roll? Well, first, you need to know what we'll be talking about. First off, Babies come from the union of a man and a woman, the mother and the father..."

Ian was going to take things slowly at first, so Ein could get the general concept down. The "Anatomy" aspect of this education was going to be grisly, but if his Illusion spell would kick in, he'd have a way of not having to outright say it, at least...

As Ian spoke, Meglumar was silent. He was trying to come to terms with the fact that Ian was RIGHT. Needless to say, this was NOT something he wanted to admit. It was like having to...having too...DAMN! There was no proper thing to equate this to! "...Point....Taken." Meglumar said, begrudgingly. He had lost this round. Ian had won. However, since in a way they were both after the same thing, Ein's continued innocence, they both would really win in the end. That is, unless they ended up fighting to the death over who would be the one to do so, which sadly enough was likely. After all, Ian and Meglumar WERE completely different when it came to their views on how things should be.

He too paid for his meal, and purchased a container filled with milk, which he gave to Ein to go along with his cinnamon roll from Ian. If he just had the roll, he'd probably end up getting thirsty, and that wouldn't be a good thing to have happen. He listened as Ian went on, continuing his speech as this small trio walked down the cobbled street before them. What an odd sight: A paladin half-nymph in a hooded cloak with a mask, A misanthrope with various genes, a tendency to rant, and a hot temper, with an innocent angel with the behavior of a 6 year old finishing this strange trio.

"Keep in mind the couple is almost always MARRIED when they have a child. As in, it's just between that one man, and that woman, most of the time. Or rather, that's how it is supposed to be." He said, expanding on Ian's words. No doubt Ian would dislike the paladin-esque expansion, but Ein DID have many paladin-like skills. Ein himself had mentioned in the forest where they had met that he might be a paladin! Meglumar made a note on this, and made a mental note to check the great cathedral in the Sanctuary of Angels to see if there might be any clue on Ein's past.

"....I...See...Hmn, somethings are beginning to unfold in my mind.....Can't say that they're unpleasant, but...." Ein said trailing off as he nibbled on his Cinnamon roll. As he wasn't paying that much attention while trying to remember what his mind was telling him, some of the frosting and crumbs was caught on the sides of his mouth....He looked like a 5 year old kid! TOO FREAKIN CUTE!!

"Well, I think I've remembered some of the concept, such as thinking of having kids proper only if or if you intend to get married, some other basics....But not much else." Ein said with a sigh. He felt like this was something that he really should have known, or maybe even experienced before. He didn't like the aspect of forgetting many basic things along with his memory....

Ian held up the group for a moment, as indicated by his arm gesture.

"One moment."

He walked over to a store. Inside, he made a transaction, that was obvious enough. What was he buying? Instructional aids? Let's hope not. He came out with a bag in hand, gave them a handsign for "one sec, sorry.", and stroed into a local church of Lothlomendil. A few minutes after that, a Cleric came out, along with Ian.

The Cleric was rather confused. "You need to temporarily remove your eyeballs?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"WHY?"

"So I can scrub the retinas.". And at this, Ian brought out the sponge he had just bought. "Look, you'll be paid. Less talk, more eyball removal."

"Very well...IS EST MIHI NARRO!" And with that latin incantation, The cleric surrounded his hands with potent healing energy, and gently plucked Ian's eyes out.

Ian thanked him. "Alright, stand by to put those back in." And with that, he wet the sponge, and began scrubbing away inside his eye sockets.

"AUGH! I'M GOING TO SEE THAT EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES IF I DON'T DO THIS! IT'S SO FREAKIN' CUTE!"

A few minutes later, Ian had his eyes back in, and actually had slightly clearer vision, due to scrubbing off a slight defect in his retinas. Ian decided to act like nothing had happened, and resumed leading the adorable Ein through the streets.

"Alright You two, I passed an empty house on the way here, that should give us the proper seclusion." Secretly, Ian was tormented inside. Half of him wanted to run in fear, half of him wanted to hug Ein, half wanted to pretend nothing had happened, and half wanted to just get going.

With that...odd display done, Meglumar began to think on Ian's statement. That would be trespassing on property owned by the city. There had to be a better, more legal way to do things. "Not a wise idea, Ian. It's still city property. If we were caught trespassing, we'd be breaking the law, and thrown into prison. Can you honestly expect poor Ein here to last 5 minutes inside such an institution?" He asked. It seemed an unlikely thing. Ein was just too innocent and childlike right now, and likely would end up going mad after 2 SECONDS of that.

"Perhaps someplace better than that, someplace public, yet large enough for us to be in private....the beach? It stretches most of the coast, and we likely can find a secluded area where we can speak without being hounded and the like by people. Ein, what do you think?" He asked, wanting the childlike angel what he thought on this. It WAS more or less his decision in the end, this whole 'discussion' was supposed to be for him and him alone. He hoped Ein would know what prison was and why he would not want to go there.

The beach......it was close to were he had run into Ian. THAT was one awkward situation, to see the least. This town seemed to be very interesting. It was a place where evil and good could run into each other at any moment, and an intense, deep hatred could be formed. And yet, as Ein was proving, this was also a town where enemies could be forced to work together for one common goal. A country bumpkin like Meglumar wouldn't have ever thought such a thing was possible if not experiencing it like this. It seems his wandering as a paladin was becoming the most enlightening thing to ever occur to him.

He found himself chuckling a bit. What and audacious situation he was now in. A few moments ago, he was on the verge of wanting to kill Ian. Now he was WORKING with Ian to help Ein. Oh how comical this all was! What was next? Was he going to team up with Linea and save a town from some sort of....Oh god damn it, he already did that! Maybe he'd fight some evil undead army and keep it from invading a city while juggling squirrels? That was one of the few things that could be more audacious than this.

"Does it really need to be somewhere so private?" Ein asked as he then drained his glass of milk. Once again, he wasn't paying that much attention, so Ein now had a mild mustache without his notice. He began thinking and wondering why it had to be such a private talk, and decided if it came to it, he would try to fly the two of them over to a roof top or something, that would be safe for the time being maybe?

"Well, since I'm recovered from my previous wounds and can fly at full strength now, maybe I can fly you two over to a rooftop worst comes to worst? Oh, but I can only carry one person at a time." Ein said. He felt the top of his lip was now moist from the milk and licked it off his face. He sat there thinking again, when suddenly he was rather rudely brought out of his train of thought.

*PLOINK!*

"DOW!" Ein yelped as he felt someone take a feather off his wings. AGAIN. When there was a few feathers that had already dropped off a bit away from him. Ein turned around to see who the culprit was this time, and found himself facing...The Air? No, it was the same little girl who had pulled his feather out the first time? Ein crouched down so he was face to face with the girkl"...Ah, it's just you. Where's your mommy this time?" Ein asked in a nice tone, hiding his former irritation. The little girl looked around and then shook her head, indicating she didn't know. Ein liked slightly concerned before speaking again. "I see, well, for the time being then, how about I give you another ride? I can't fly you around this time, but this should still be okay." Ein said lifting the little girl and placing her on his shoulders. She started giggling once again and the Ein suddenly felt he was being stared at.

Ian had to point this out. "So...I'm leading a Paladin and an innocent half-angel down the street, the half-angel is carrying a little girl on his shoulders, and My nymph powers have just fully matured. Quite honestly, this procession could only get stranger if we had an undead member of some sorts. Come to think of it, why am I the leader? I'm the only decidedly evil one amongst us. Bah...That's the reason right there. Good is inherently reactionary, you want somethign done quickly, you go for evil..."

Ian Cleared his throat. "Ein, We no longer need to be in a secluded location, as a spell I have mastered just now, due to my Sorceror lineage, my family was careful to incorporate those as well, that will serve as a wonderfully useful education tool."

He wasn't going to specify what the spell was, not in front of Meglumar. The Illusion spell would basically give Ein a movie version of everythign he needed to know. Ian would by no means enjoy crafting it, as it had to come from HIS mind, but he'd just have to do so.

"Ein, please return the little girl to where she belo-Wait, is that the..." Ian reached into his cloak, which had pockets sewn into the inside, and pulled out two of Ein's feathers. "Yes, that's the little girl...What in the world is she doing here? I thought she was at the elven village. Nevertheless! Ein, get her back to her mother."

As soon as Ian said his nymph powers had activated completely, Meglumar pulled out his spare mask and jammed it onto Ian's face. Yes, he knew wit likely that Ian, as a 1/4 nymph, and with all of the other bloodlines he likely had, was only able to use it when he wished to, as a form of control. But like he would pass up THIS kind of a chance. The mask he had shoved onto Ian's face was made of a dried brown wood, and was horribly misshapen. One eye hole was larger than the other, and the other one was too small to see out of. There was a mouth hole, one that made the mask look like it was screaming, begging to be burned so it could be put out of it's misery. Meglumar bought it, mainly because it was so incredibly cheap.

"Well, then, Ian, you'll be needing this, I wager.....granted, your nymph powers are not as strong as mine, as you are not a whole breed or a half breed. Still, though, best to air on the side of caution, especially with Ein here. We don't want a crowd AGAIN, do we?" He stated, trying to explain the method behind the madness. He glanced over to the child on Ein's shoulders. He smiled behind his mask. it was like an older brother taking care of a younger sister. Still, Ian.....had a point. Damn, why couldn't he be on the side of good? That would make things so much better. Evil being right made him get a sick feeling in his stomach, even if the things he was speaking of were not evil, but neutral.

"He's right, Ein. Her mother must be worried sick, and we'd not want to worry the poor woman, wherever she might be." He said, nodding with Ian's words slowly. Finding the woman would likely prove difficult, as this town was rather large. Finding one woman would be like finding a needle in a haystack, to use an old analogy.

"Unfortunately, she doesn't know where her mother is, thats why I'm letting her get a better view on my shoulders." Ein said as he looked around the place for the little girl's mother. The girl also looked around for her mother, but with no luck. "....Hey, did you wander into here without your mother?" Ein asked, hoping the answer would be a no. He glanced upwards and saw the girl shake her head, meaning that the girl's mother would be around here, SOMEWHERE.

"Well, this child's mother couldn't have gone too far at least. She should still be in this pub, or around here. Any ideas on how to look for her?" Ein said as he looked around a bit more. The girl was now holding onto his hair, so Ein made careful care not to move around too much, lest she pull out some of his hair which would be VERY unpleasant.

Ian yanked the mask off and threw it like a frisbee away, irately glancing at Meglumar. "Unlike you, Mutt, I can CONTROL my hereditary power. Note the distinct lack of females throwing themselves at me." And it was true, no one was taking particular interest in Ian, outside of his hair color and the fact he was walking with the relentlessly adorable Ein.

Ian had to think though. "I'll have to think, though. It'll take focus, I got the strange feeling of Deja Vu after I said that..." Little did he know. At Any rate, he put his intellect to use. They'd need more information before they could do anything, he concluded quickly. "Little girl, what does your mother look like? And where were you when you became seperated?"

"I vaguely remember her appearance. She looks a lot like this girl, just, well, grown up." Ein said with a shrug. The girl lucked at Ein and then mimicked what he was doing, causing Ein to frown a bit. The girl then followed suit and frowned as well. The girl then smiled and pointed at a direction, which was at her mother. Ein sighing with relief made a motion to say "Wait right here" then walked over to the girl's mother who was currently EXTREMELY worried. He gently removed the girl from his shoulders and placed the her back onto the ground. The girl then ran over to her mother and hugged her. The girls mother bowed lightly at Ein's direction before he told her that formality wasn't needed. He then patted the girl's head a bit then waved as he walked back over to Ian and Meglumar.

"Right, now that that business is settled, where shall we go?"

"As I said, a secluded part of the beach could work best. It's not too far from here, would be easy to find a secluded area, and overall would be one of the best locations we could walk to." Meglumar said, smiling behind his mask. Ein was a good person. He followed his heart, and did what he knew to be right. It was a heart warming thing to see and realize. He may have been neutral, but he was also, apparently, inherently good. Perhaps Neutral-Good? Yes, Ein seemed to follow that model of being than anything else.

He then glanced at Ian as he began throwing a hissy fit. "You call ME a Mutt? I'm half and half. By NO means a mutt." He said, being blunt and honest. He had NO grounds to insult Meglumar's heritage. HE was the mutt, if anything else. He had the multiple blood lines. HE had the elven, nymph, and human blood, all in odd quantities.Meglumar had to wonder if there was any Drow blood in him. it WOULD explain his overall nasty nature fairly well. Actually, it would explain a LOT of things about Ian! Like his lanky build, his sensitive ears...Yes, normal elves had such problems...But...

Ugh, no matter. Now Meglumar had to prepare for what Ian would say. It would probably be annoying, loud, obnoxious, and against Meglumar's wish to head to the beach. He would probably have another insult thrown his way, which Meglumar would have to respond with another quip. He shook his head, this was such a pain.....He wished he could just exorcise the evil soul out of Ian and be done with all of his quips, annoyances, overall nastiness, and his sarcasm. Oh, what he would GIVE to be rid of Ian's sarcasm!

"We can do so right here. I have an Illusion spell." Ian stated quite simply. It'd all be in Ein's mind if it was done that way. Of course, that also gave Ian free reign over what was said, due to Meglumar not being involved very much. Oh, the havoc Ian could wreak. He could project naughty, NAUGHTY images into Ein's innocent sponge-like mind. He could write off every law of decency and EIn'd be trusting of it. Oh, how many nasty ideas formed in Ian's head.

And then he looked at Ein patting the little girl on the head. No way could he do something so cruel to Ein! Ein was too innocent to corrupt like that. Ian began to plan a Sex Ed: The Abridged Series for Ein. It'd have to be concise, that's for sure.

"Find someplace comfortable. Do you trust me, Ein? I'll be in your head, showing you the images and making you hear what I choose. It'll be much easier if you don't try to fight it, but remember, it's just an illusion."

Ian knew damn well what Meglumar would say. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! DON'T PUT YOURSELF AT THE WHIMS OF THAT WRETCH!"

In fact, Ian decided to take it one step further, and said that out loud in as close to Meglumar's voice he could muster.

Meglumar was annoyed, naturally, by Ian's imitation. He made a loud cough, and glared at Ian, before looking back at Ein. "...I have to say be careful, Ein. Ian's not the best of people, but I believe he really DOES want to help you here. Just....well, if something seems needlessly evil, Ignore it. Otherwise...well...." He gulped. "Here's hoping you do not go mad...." He said, nervous. He REALLY didn't want to be involved, but Ian was right, they had to make sure Ein was safe from the female gender. They were pure evil. No, seriously, there was a mathematical form of proof!

Ein shrugged innocently. "And I trust Ian too. This'll be the learning experience, so go right ahead." Ein said as he firmly stood his ground. He took a deep breath and relaxed his body and mind, preparing for the illusion to temporarily overtake him, but....Boy was THIS gonna be awkward for him. Ein tried to calm himself down the best he could, because he was probably gonna need it.

"Well Ian, whenever you're ready, I am too. Lets just try and get this over with." Ein said calmly.

Ian felt a rushing thrill as he realized he was the master of the situation here. Resisting temptations to drive Ein insane, Ian cast the Illusion Spell on Ein.

-----

To Ein, the city would fade to black, and he'd be standing in an empty white room. Ian wasn't there, he was acting as Disembodied Voice.

"Alright Ein. I took you away from the city so that you could focus on the subject matter. First, let's start with the basics. Male and Female differences."

A full grown man, and a full grown woman appeared side by side.

"Immediately you should notice the differences of shape..." And with that, helpful little labels appeared over the specific body parts that were different between males and females.

"Note the build is different as well. The male is more bulky and angular, while the female is smoother and curvier."

Text appeared over each labeled body part, naming them.

And so Ian Went on and on. He had decided to cover the anatomical aspect and get the worst over with first.

-----

In the real world, Ian was cringing as he had to project every image he could think of in regards to this topic into Ein's mind. He wasn't exactly enjoying this part, and he imagined neither would Ein.

He could still speak of course. "Ack...I decided on Anatomy first. Get the grisly bits done first. It's awkward, to say the least. Just had to give him the actual...well, description of intercourse."

No doubt, Ian was probably more suited to be doing this then someone who would hold back or try to do it gently. But that didn't change the fact that this was probably one of the most unconventional uses of the Illusion spell EVER.

-----

Back in the Illusion, Ian eventually finished up, as tastefully as he could, the anatomical side of Ein's Sex Ed. He decided to cap things off with a big poofy kitten.

"To help take your mind off all that, Ein, here's a kitty for you."

He decided to wait to begin the next lesson. Any more would probably break Ein.

-----

"OH THANK LOTHLOMENDIL IT'S OVER." Ian breathed a sigh of relief.