Sometimes, life threw you curve balls. Sometimes you didn't even know where that expression came from because in the life you lived, baseball didn't yet exist and the author writing the bloody story wasn't intelligent enough to come up with a different metaphor. Sometimes it was a combination of those two things which meant nothing less than this was going to be a very, very bad day.

Fast approaching his forty-somethings, Ilnich Von Eiberhelm was a zombie hunter. He had always wanted to be a vampire hunter, but after living three years as the slave of a particularly flamboyant seductress he had given up on that particular route to glory. It wasn't quite as rewarding, but the job did have its merits. Zombies were easy to kill, easy to clean and- importantly- didn't have any vengeful clan members at their beck and call. Vampires, it seemed, had an abundance and un-abundance (was that even a word?) of all those traits in all the wrong places.

His hammer shone wetly in the moonlight. His last kill had been a fresh adventurer. She probably hadn't even known what kind of unholy ground she had stumbled into- poor thing. Well, rest her soul, he knew he had brought her peace.

The other spirits of this cursed place were waking up- he could hear them, clicking and clacking as they threw off the dust and dirt of their physical imprisonment to tear the flesh off his bones. He let out a short, barking laugh. They were always so presumptuous. Always so bloody predictable. He didn't know why he had turned down this sorta job twenty years ago for vampire hunting. He took out a vial of holy water and doused his weapon with it. It was just so... relaxing, to be able to do this time and time again and not have any-

Holeh mother of Fus-

He had seen a live one! He didn't know how he hadn't detected her before, but she certainly wasn't evil. He didn't know how she was still alive but didn't question it. Bony hands were already grabbing at her from beneath the earth and... was she playing with them? He shook his head, sometimes, the truly innocent or the truly deranged managed to wander in this graveyard and survive for no conceivable reason. Sometimes, he figured, the good spirits did protect the fools that lived.

As he got closer he confirmed his guess- she was giggling as bony protrusions grabbed her ankles and seemed to be playing a game with them. She'd let them tickle her toes (was she barefoot?!) before hopping away and hopping back towards them. She seemed to be having great fun. He shrugged, she'd thank him if she knew how. Then he grabbed her shoulder and wrenched her away, heedless of the quiver of arrows she carried that fell onto the ground in disarray and started smashing hands.

"You can thank me- Urk!"

With a sinking feeling, Ilnich turned around, his movements jerky and uncoordinated. She had stabbed his throat with the arrow. He could feel his lifeblood seeping away and grabbed onto her garments. The girl still had her beaming smile on her face. She waggled a finger at him.

"That wasn't very nice. Poppa bear and momma bear were being very kind and you ruined the game. Now you have to play it too."

With shaking hands he tried to grab her throat. He knew what she was! He tried to strangle her. How could she exist? Weak hands managed to grab her pale, white throat and clutched feebly at it. Closing spasmodically.

"Monster."He whispered.

Then he fell... and fell... and fell... and all he heard were giggles.

Vangul crept slowly the moonlit graveyard, looking for something, something he knew was there.
This was his second night as an incarnation of dark wrath, a lich. As he walked, his robes brushed along the ground, creating a sweeping trail behing him. He was no mere skeleton, he was a lich, a former master of the arts of Necromancy. His soul had been sealed inside an object which only he knew the location of, and he had taken the physical form of a skeleton whom he knew very well. As he walked, had it not been a land of decay already, perhaps his footsteps would have caused the grass and flowers to slowly die. He was not a friend of nature, or the light.

Tonight, he was looking for someone, whether it be an ally or a foe was yet to be seen, but he needed to find something to occupy his time. He had lost his magic during the dark pact which gave him unlimited undeath, and now he needed to find a way to make money so he could purchase more spells. Perhaps he had achieved the ultimate dark rites, but he no longer had any of the power he had formally. But that was ok, whether he had to get money by killing someone or finding a partner to work with, either way would work out in the end, he did have undending life now... There was another reason why he was here though, he wanted to relearn his most basic form of spellcasting, summoning skeletons from the dead to serve him, and what better place then the land of the dead. So it was decided, he wanted money, and he wanted his skeleton servants back.

As he walked, he spotted something in the distance. What was it? It looked like a small girl, but wait... there was something about her different, she was playing with the undead hands of buried ghouls. He would have looked suprized if he had muscles to show expressions, but instead he just stared.

Then a human approached the girl, it looked like he was warning her... Suddenly she turned and stabbed him through the neck with an arrow, and Vangul would have grinned if possible, he knew what she was, a necropolitan. Perhaps she could further his causes. It afterall wasn't in his nature to violently kill other undead, not that he even could right now if he wanted to. He stepped forward, and held out a bony hand with a dark aura swirling around it, a gesture of what mortals would call a friendship.

"Spectacular!" He said in a gruff voice, his red eyes glowing bright as they did when he was pleased. "You did a good job ridding that human of his life span . He looked like a seasoned hunter."

"Mr. Lichlich." The necropolitan said sagely before bursting into a fit of giggles again. She certainly didn't look or feel like a creature of pure evil- nor one that had just killed a human being. She kicked the corpse, rolling it over. "He's a meanie-pooh. Now we can all be friends!"

It seemed her words were prophetic. The flesh of the zombie hunter was taking an unnatural hue... already the land, the foul, putrid wastes that were called Dori'ba were trying to claim his soul. As a man of good standing and good faith and good character he probably tried to wrestle against it but in the end, the curse of Dori'ba remained strong. His soul was trapped here for all eternity. Bonded to a body that he would curse and a hunger that would tear his mind apart.

Did Robyn know of this? Could she know? It was hard to tell- rumors had it that she had gone crazy after losing a lover but none truly knew. Even amongst the dead she was a mystery. Sometimes feeble, sometimes righteous, sometimes playful, sometimes catty... but always fickle. As fickle as a candle in the wind. It was a wonder she wasn't dead already

No wait, she was.

She was still giggling when bony hands shot forth from the ground trying to claim a new prize. With strength that did not seem possible from her slender frame she dragged the corpse away and started wagging a finger at them.

"Nuh-uh. He's my newest and bestest friend. And he's going to play with me and Mr. Lichlich. Right Mr. Lichlich?" She glanced inquisitively towards the embodiment of darkness, what remained of her literally rotting brain somewhat curious but curiously unafraid of the dark necromancer.

Then she started giggling again. The corpse was squelchy! And sticky! What fun they would all have together!

He eyed the zombie hunter, his soul would soon be gone, and he would be a corrupted zombie. The flesh in his body was already starting to rot, the process accelerated by the eternal rot of Dori'ba. He did not flinch or even act suprized as the hands shot up from the ground, attempting to grab the body. He was suprized however, by the strength of this girl, as she dragged the body with ease out of the clutches of the hands. Yes, she would make a powerful ally indeed, if he could only uncover how her brain worked!

Then she talked to him, in that childlike way. Vangul was a bit taken aback. Here he had thought this girl was of pure evil, she was undead afterall. She called him "Mr. Lichlich," a name which he had never imagined anyone calling him. She was clearly insane, she didn't even seem to be intimidated by him. Though he should be very very angry, evil being that he was, he couldn't help but take a sort of fascination in this zombie child. Perhaps there was more to her then meets the eye, afterall, she was a necropolitan, which means she was a zombie of her own will. That had to mean something, inside that head, she must have a tint of evil in her, even if it was hidden a bit. Perhaps he could make an ally of her, afterall, he had killed his old master, his family, and any friends he used to have.


"Yes..." he said to her. "Yes, we can play. Theres plenty of fun to be had with a dead corpse. Unfortunately, I have...lost my ability to animate the dead. The good news is, this land works just as well at doing my job for me!"

He let out a loud, high pitched cackle, unlike his deep speaking voice in almost any way.

"Mr. Lichlich is happeh? Then meanie-pooh friend is happeh too!" Twirling the corpse of the undead hunter person about like a marionette, the disturbed necropolitan grabbed the dead man's mouth and tried to twist it into a rictus of a smile. It worked... kinda. At least his eyes were closed. The pain in them would have ruined the overall aesthetic. Not that there was much of an aesthetic in this tortured land where two undead monstrosities were busy laughing at a corpse of one who had fought his entire life to stem the undead tide, only to become one of them himself.

Irony loved reality.

“And Robyn is happeh!” She finished and smiled herself. It was an odd and out of place in this realm of death, but Robyn would have seemed out of place even in limbo. A happy, cheerful sprite- she was like a misplaced pixie. A soul trying to be free and happy, but ending up with the short end of the stick in the form of a human body.

She had fixed that problem, apparently. Or exacerbated it. Whatever the case, she did seem free now... even if it had cost her every iota of intelligence she had possessed in her former life.

“So what is Mr. Lichlich doing in Dori'ba?” She asked, her playful smile still upon her face. “Did Mr. Lichlich come only to play with Robyn-rin or did Mr.Lichlich,” her voice lowered to a horrified whisper, “come for busy-ness? Because busy-ness is bad for health!” She nodded her head emphatically. “Busy-ness made not-friend friend,” she held up the corpse, “into a meanie-pooh. That's why he not like Momma bear and Poppa bear.”

“But now he's a friend-friend too. And very, very happeh.”

Robyn giggled as the zombification process finally started shifting and moving into full steam. The body was already twitchy and its hands were slowly flexing and closing. The blood had turned black as the foul magicks coagulated it at deparate speeds. His eyes were blinking rapidly- in a parody of REM sleep. It moaned.

“Eeet livvvvvves.”

Vangul was again left speechless for a while at Robyn. She was quite the unique zombie, acting like a 5 year old child one minute, killing and defiling corpses the next(though the later he found incredibly amusing), she might not be pure evil, but she was definitely insane. When she asked him what he was doing there, he replied "My business is my own, but if you must know, Ive come to relearn the dark arts of summoning skeletons. What I found my dear, was you, a rather interesting zombie."

Interesting may have a few meanings in Vangul's head, but No matter, she might further his cause either way, she could be coerced in to doing his bidding. Right now he had no means of hurting someone rather then poking their eyes out with a swift jab of his wand, which he had already done on the way to Dori'ba. It was very unefficient, and he had gotten quite a lot of blood on his cloak, which he had then proceeded to wash in a river. No..this girl could do quite a good deal of damage..

And as he was thinking this, he never took his eyes off the rapidly zombifying corpse in front of him. This was an experienced fighter in life, perhaps in undeath he could be useful, he could take both of them to the nearest camp of life they coulld find, and they could destroy all that inhabited it. It would be quite a good rush for Vangul, as killing was what made him truly happy, that, and other people's misery. He was quite insane himself, some might say you'd have to be to become a Lich in the first place. He thought of himself as a true visionary, and viewed his actions as making the world a better place, at least in his mind.



The process was complete, the zombified body had been given new life as a slave of darkness.
Vangul raised his cloaked arms in the air. "Rise, rotten flesh bound to the wills of darkness! Let us work together, and give life a new meaning!"

When Ilnich Von Eiberhelm had died he had hoped that his soul would be torn to shreds in order to fuel his dark resurrection. Then his body would be perfectly preserved but his mind- his real mind- would be free of the insanity that was undeath.

No. Such. Luck.

He risked a quick peek around. The girl- the abomination!- was right... he fell flat on his face and realized that he couldn't speak. Couldn't even move properly. He felt jerky and uncoordinated... like a marionette with all his strings cut. He realized, without much prompting, that death had robbed him of much of his physical capabilities. He heard a lich laughing (when had it come into the picture?) and tried to groan his way into killing the two of them- but he just couldn't. He physically couldn't. He had to re-learn how his entire body worked in order to do anything at all.

Ilnich felt his entire body move as the girl picked him up with one hand. From the crick in his neck he believed that that wasn't the first time this had happened either. He winced- he wasn't even sure if he could have defeated her had he realized what she was. She was an abomination- pure and simple.

"Hiya Friend-friend!"

What had she just called him? Was she smiling at him?!

"Mr. Lichlich," she seemed sad- but he knew abominations couldn't be sad, "does not want to play teahouse or dress up dolls." Her voice lowered to a confidential whisper. "He's too old. Old people are boring. All he wants to do is 'give life a new meaning.' Ick. Adults."

With those words Ilnich Von Eiberhelm knew that, without a doubt, that he had gone straight to Hell.

His scream of pure, primal fear tore the heavens and forced one unlucky duckling to close her ears and drop him onto the ground.

Vangul watched as the former Zombie hunter regained his consiousness. What was wrong with him? Why wasn't he mindless, he looked like he was thinking. It was rather strange, whenever Vangul had
risen bodies from the dead in his human form, they had no brains, they did whatever he said, but this man, who had died in the lands of the dead, seemed to have retained his sense of identity. Could there be any worse torture than knowing your a zombie? (without the strength and vitality and lich had) The little zombie girl named Robyn spoke of Tea House and Dress up Dolls. The very idea disgusted and repulsed Van, and not in the good way. But wait...since he wouldn't play with her, that means the hunter would have to! Again Vangul's eyes lit up, and he let out another high pitched cackle of glee. This poor soul was going through something much much worse then hell, his misery was for sure!

Then the hunter let out a gargled scream, a louder version of a Zombie's normal type of painful moan. When Robyn dropped him, he reached down, and picked him up by the neck, being careful not to cause any damage, he looked menacingly at the poor hunter.

"Zombie hunter eh?!" He said. Vangul Chuckled. "Well, it looks like the hunter became the hunted eh? Looks like your this little girl's personal slave! Ah ha ha! " He brought the hunters partially rotted ear and whispered. "I think your going to be the dolly she dresses up, wouldnt that be spectacularly dread?! " He guffawed, showing that there were many ways he could laugh, and dropped the hunter to the ground.

He knelt down to Robyn's level and faced her. "Hey Robyn.." he said in a mock fatherly way. "He is your new friend! Do whatever you want with him, if he doesn't do what you say, tell me and Ill teach him some manners!" Vangul patted her on the back, resisting the urge to laugh again.

Now then...wasn't he supposed to be causing destruction?

OOC: Feel free to end the topic or take us to other places... xD Perhaps we shall be grave-robbing? :3

IC:

"Tee-hee."

Robyn was giggling. And as many would know in the coming years when her fame spread far and wide, that was an event that could definitely be categorized under very, very, Very Bad. For one poor soul who was still stuck inside his own body that was his and yet not his, this was knowledge that didn't bear repeating. He knew it. He had instinctively understood it the moment that she had plunked him down onto the cold, hard ground and had started shoving dirt into his mouth.

"We're making mudpies!" She had said ecstatically. Or he had assumed she was being ecstatic. It would have mortified him to understand the truth: she was doing this because she thought he wanted her to play with him. She was amazingly quick at making mudpies- he had to give her that. There was some sort of... unearthly grace about her. Fey, yes, fey was the word one used to describe people such as her.

Or pure evil. That worked too.

"Say 'ahhhhhhh' Mr. Snookum-Lookum."

Resigned to his fate, Ilnich von... what was his name again?... said: "Graaaaaag." and accepted the 'medicine' that helped wash down the grimy feeling in his throat. He desperately wished that his nerves would just die already but wasn't betting on it. Only his left hand had become properly numb- the rest of him was taking an amazing amount of time to properly sever itself from the mortal coil called life.

"You're my bestest, bestest, Bestest friend Mr. Snookum-Lookum!" The Abomination squealed. Ilnic. Ilnik? Il? Yes, his name was Il, felt slightly queasy at the thought that the Abomination could squeal like that. "You're my bestest, bestest, Bestest friend after Poppa and Momma Bear of course. And Mr. Beeble. And Mr. Lichlich." Her brow was furrowed now as she concentrated. Il felt vaguely concerned. Who *were* all these people?

"And Mrs. Flufington Von Lumpy of course. Oooo! And Santy! And Satan and..."

(Ooc: well i was planning on getting my character to learn summon skeleton in this thread, and I'd like to put it to use, so i shall lead us on)

There were two feelings Vangul felt very strongly right now: Hysterical amusement at the plight of the poor Zombie hunter, and disgust at the cute way that Robyn was talking. He came to the conclusion that as long as someone was suffering he was more amused than put off.

There was something gnawing at him though, something churning in the pit of his stomach cavity. He hadn't killed anyone in over an hour. Now, general suffering was great and all, it was like a light snack, actually more like a candy bar, sweet but not filling. He needed to satisfy his dark cravings, he needed to kill ruthlessly. The only problem was, he had no way of hurting anyone. If only he could remember how to summon skeletons, a gang of 5 skeletons by his side was sure to cause some damage. He thought long and hard, trying to acess the memory of the spell casting. If he had a brain in his skull he would of strained it trying to remember that spell. It was kind of hard with Robyn going on about her friends though.

Then it came to him! He remembered slowly, the channeling energy... He raised his wand in the air and said "Servants of darkness, bones without meat, come to my side and souls you will eat!" As he said it, he waved his wand in a complex series of movements. A dark swirl of energy formed in front of him. It spread and formed in to a mist. "Yes...Yes!" he said. Soon he'd have his gang of servants. Slowly the mist faded, and there stood one skeleton, his hand raised in salute.

"What?!" he yelled. "One skeleton?! Why did only one skeleton appear? Did I lose my prowess?!" Vangul stared at the skeleton straight in the eye sockets. He would have to do. But he'd need help. He bent down next to Robyn, who was doing a good job at torturing the hunter. "Hey Robyn." he said. "Do you want to go to a small camp near here? Theres a bunch of people there who would make great friends for you, all you have to do is convince them! Mr. Schnookum can come too! We'll have a grand old time! What do you say Robyn?"

Robyn looked downcast. She bowed her head down and mimed the breathy voice and even managed not to burp which she really wanted to. Mud pies gave her gas.

"All the friend-friends here don't like to leave. This is there home." She said it meaningfully, as if such obscure and trivial a phrase had true meaning beyond that of the trite and commonplace. Who knew? Maybe it did. Maybe it was just a fevered delusion that had been communicated through the ages, and through cultures. But Robyn believed in it and that was all that mattered. To her, anyways.

"Mr. Snookum prolly doesn't want to leave either. Nopenope. Only Momma Bear and Poppa Bear leave at all- and Poppa always grumbles and groans." She scrunched up her face imitating Poppa Bear. "If I haf to leave my bed One More Time- you're grounded!"

"So... nopes, I don't think we can bring Mr. Snookum-Lookum."

For some reason, there seemed to be a general sigh of relief that came from nowhere and everywhere. Most curious.

The necropolitan shook her head, pale hair shining in the moonlight. "But we have new friend-friend!" She gallantly got to her feet, wiped away the results of mudpies and tea parties and did a curtsy-bow. Which was part bow and part curtsy. Thus, a curtsy-bow. It was a very, very complicated feat of power, skill and cultural aptitude that only those of the Hurly Burly Wurly Brigade ™ could properly pull off, but Robyn was a special daughter dearest and Poppa Bear had showed her how to do it.

She considered Mr. Lichlich's words as he spoke them (and as she was curtsy-bowing) and decided that having some new friend-friends would be a wonderful way to start the day. Evening. Something-or-another.

"Yes, Mr. Lichlich. That sounds like an exceeeeellent plan. A very, most excellentious plan! An excellentioromous plan!"

Vangul was confused, he knew about her new friendfriend, but who was Mr. Snookum-Lookum? And Papa Bear and Mama bear were clearly figments of her imagination, but he was still lost as to where she came up with this stuff. Perhaps it was a typical side affect of brain rot, the reason Vangul had removed his victims nose Ancient Egyptian Style before he took control of his skeleton, rotting brains had a tendency to malfunction. Even if he was wrong, it was a fun process anyways..

Then she approved his plan, and he was full of happiness. He brought his skeletal fingers together and chuckled. "Excellent! Very Excellent, let us go find you some new 'friend friends' shall we?" Then something happened...He laughed again, but for a different reason, "Mwuahahahahahahahahahaha!" his evil voice thundered through the land as he realized that he remembered how to cast a very deadly spell, Enervation. This would be very useful in murdering the people at the camp, and with the demented yet willing help of Robyn, he would be rubbing sweet bloody organs against his face in no time!( A practice which he was acustomed to doing with his victim's internal squishy parts. It gave him a soothing feeling as if he were rubbing silk against his nonexistant skin.)

His bizarre rituals aside, he decided they should get going, judging by the moon's position, they only had two hours before the people would start to wake up, it was easier to kill them in their sleep....Then again, it was more fun to watch them writhe in agony and scream as their souls were forcibly removed from their meat shells. What fun was murder without a little fun? So it was decided they would go there now, so they didn't have to wait, and they would wake up their victims before they killed them, so they could get a kick out of it, and Robyn would be able to torture them. THis was turning out to be a splendid evening!

"Come on Robyn.." He said, extending his hand for her to take. " We need to hurry to meet your friends, they are just dying to meet you! "

Robyn accepted the friendly hand curiously. Was this the legendary left-right handshake that she had heard so much about from father bear? She couldn't be sure, it certainly wasn't an invitation to do a curtsy-bow, but it didn't seem to be a left-right handshake, but then again left-right handshakes weren't supposed to appear to be left-right handshakes, that's why they were left-right handshakes and not right-right or left-left handshakes which were just [I]/boring[I] and stupidly silly.

Course' it could be really, really realllllllly complicated and not be a handshake at all but just a hand. Her brain twisted itself in knots as it was presented by this new problem while a different part of her brain just got both hands to accept it and shook tried to shake the hand vigorously thereby managing a left-right-right handshake that probably did no one any good at all since those were so... so... corflower blue.

Here The Chef interjected, mentioning that the word Robyn-rin was looking for was 'predictable.'

Oh.

Thank you Mr. Cheffy Chef! You're the bestest pie-maker anyone could ever have.

The Chef groaned but was secretly delighted. Robyn-rin could tell- nothing the Chef did was hidden from her because he was such a luffable furry lump-lump. She could almost see him now, red eyes and white fur and all snarls and loveliness! She hoped he was wearing his Kiss The Chef apron, it made him look simply adworable!

"Dying to meet me?" She repeated, elated. No one had died wanting to meet her before it was... it was an honor. A big, big, biiiig honor. "That sounds fantastically fantabulous-ous-ous...ous!" She said honestly.

"When do we meet them?"

==================

OOC: Feel free to fast-forward to camp.

Vangul felt a bit ridiculous as the undead child shook his hand wildly, it was sort of like when he strangled people, but this time it was a bad thing because it was his hand. He saw that she had taken the bait, and she was eager to go."Oh, We will meet them very soon Robyn, don't you worry. It's only a bit further"

He lead her off to the camp, resisting the urge to skip merrily himself in anticipation of the oncoming massacre. Apparently the undead hunter was coming with them too, and if not by will then by force.

-------Later at the camp-------------

He came to a stop as they approached the outside wall of the village. He could smell the fowl stench of the living. He could also hear traces of the loud snorin coming from their tents. With Robyn at his side, this would be a wonderful party. He supposed he should take them out one at a time, rather then calling them all out at once, but there were only about 10 people here, and he enjoyed massive slaughter all at once rather than picking at the them a few at a time.

"Hey living scum!" He shouted. Some of the snoring stopped abruptly. "You think your such hot stuff. toting your holy water and vampire stakes, well your nothing, you hear? The hordes of the undead have come to rid you of your filthy life, and doom to you to a tormenting undeath on these unholy grounds!"

The snoring was entirely gone now, and the shuffling of boots and dressing could be heard. He turned to Robyn. "Robyn! They're coming to play with you! Aren't you excited?! You know what a really fun game would be? I think we should make them undead like us so we can have a ton of fun! They like to play a bit rough though..."

The moon was waning. It was hard to tell, but the witching hour was coming to this foul land and whatever dark magicks fueled it only grew stronger as the night started to pass into true darkness. Werewolves may have been one of the night terrors' more interesting representatives but even they were closer to humanity than the undead were. For the undead, there was no time quite like true night, when the stars were blotted out by an unfeeling and godly hand that controlled the weather and darkness reigned supreme.

Unless you were a happy, demented, crazy and somewhat go-lucky un-childe that had somehow managed to worm its way into becoming an undead. Then it just became kinda sorta difficult to see because there wasn't much light and eyeballs were more than just accessories to be shaken and stirred at will. In fact, Robyn tripped quite a few times and skinned her knee and bruised- well bruised wasn't the right word, many would argue she was just one big bruise and wouldn't be far off the mark- but she slammed her shin but in the end, more or less got to where she wanted to go in one nigh-complete set.

Then they managed to get in front of a biiiiiig barricaded building thing. And then Mr. Lichlich started talking lots and lots and lots... errr, fine, a leetle bit but then the meanie-poohs started talking and whispering and shouting and then... and then...

And then they started shooting arrows at them! Not the pinprick arrows either, but actual arrows that gave off white, burning light and then two or three people were out, bearing torches and shiny, sharp-sharp toys. Robyn stared inquistively at them, then at Mr. Lichlich and then she grinned and took out her own sharp-sharp. This day was going to be so much fun! They were playing knights and bandits!

Vangul laughed as the arrows came flying at him, he had a tendency to laugh in dangerous situations, as he was completely narcissistic. "You can't win holy scum!" he yelled. He sent forward his own skeleton through the back of the encampment, so it could come around and suprise one or two of these scum. Then Vangul took his first victim. There was an archer atop one of the walls, and Vangul launched a dark screeching ball of shiny dark energy at this archer. The ball of darkness hit the man, knocking a lot more then the wind out of him. His life force was severely damaged, and he suffered an injury similar to that of a severe concussion and a heart attack combined. As if this weren't enough, the spell knocked him backwards, and the man tumbled off of the roof, landing on his neck, causing it to snap.

Vangul was a bit distracted as the man died, for he had a habit of watching his victims suffer and finally die. A club suddenly clubbed him in his ribs, and he collapsed on to the ground. The Barbarian that had hit him was a deadly looking female, as if she were a giant amazon. She lifted her club up to finish off Vangul, but he rolled to the side as her club hit the ground. He then pulled his Black Dagger from his cloak and drove it through the woman's leg, causing her to howl in pain and hop on one leg. Then he rose to his feet and stabbed her through the eye with his dagger, not quite killing her. She put her hand over her eye, grasping the bleedig mushy eye socket, and held her leg, hopping up and down. Vangul was tempted to laugh, she looked sort of like a pirate. Then suddenly another club hit him in the back of the head, sending him crashing in to the ground. He groaned, and hoped Robyn was doing considerably better then he.

OOC: If this is too graphic for ye we can tone it down.

IC:

Robyn as it so happened, was not doing much better than he. The opponent she was facing had skewered her twice through the tummy region and she seemed, by virtue of being the one in front, to be attracting arrows like magnets. It would have been unnerving no doubt had she been human but she was undead... and the undead did not feel or care for pain or the fact that she was now a human (undead human) pincushion did not bother her in the least. It was the holy energy though that did bother her and was the reason why the arrows hadn't simply been left there and were now on the ground, foaming and frothing as her blood reacted with its pure magic, creating a reaction not unlike fire and water as they would meet.

Still, despite her injuries, her opponent was faring considerably worse. She had twice bitten him and carved up his right- and apparently sword hand- something good. If his fingers had been slightly smaller she would have simply appropriated them to fit onto herself but the reality was that this oaf was just to freaking big. His fingers did not fit hers and it would be madness to even test for compatability. Madness. The human, fatigued by weakness , made a desparate gamble lunging for the undead urchin with a giant sweeping blow that whistled right through her side and solidly struck her spine. He, no doubt, for an instant, believed that victory had smiled upon him.

Victory was ever a fickle mistress. Giggling happily, the undead girl bit right into the warrior's neck. Blood squirted out, driven by a powerful heart and then the titanic monolity of a human being gave a quick jerk and was still. Defeated. Smiling, Robyn clambered onto her feet and then quickly and efficiently ripped open the human's skull and went for the brains.

(Nah Im fine, don't worry about it.)

Vangul pushed himself up from the ground, and sent another ball of unholy dark magic at the man who had clubbed him. The man grasped his heart, and seemed as if he were choking, having a heart attack, or the mix of the two. He howled out in pain, and collapsed on the ground. Vangul swooped to the man's side, and dug his knife in to the man's chest, ripping asunder the man's still beating heart. Vangul felt the pressure and then the explosion as the heart burst. He removed his dagger and a high pressure stream of blood shot out of the wound, and some of it hit Vangul's face, causing him to shiver with an odd pleasure at the feeling of the blood. The man he had killed had an empty look in his eyes, one that the dead wear when their eyes have yet to be closed.

Vangul had to pull himself away from the sadistic fun of this particular murder, and jumped to the side trying to avoid a holy arrows Unfortunately, the arrow went through part of his rib, causing a piece of it to splinter off. He couldn't feel the pain, but he could feel the hinder in his movement as he stormed towards the woman who had shot him with the arrow. He felt his skeleton hosty shaking a little, and he would have to make sure to regenerate his wounds after this fight was over.

As he was running, another Archer lined up his holy arrows to fire at Vangul. THis man was fatally suprised however, when he felt a split second of horrible pain as Vangul's skeleton shoved it's bony hands through his neck and then it went dark as the Skeleton ripped the head from the man's neck, holding high a severed bleeding head held by a piece of the man's spine. The skeleton's screech for victory was cut short by a prompt club hit in the skull, which caused it to explode in a cloud of boney shrapnel. The archer's friend had avenged his death.

Robinson watched as the skeleton burst asunder, the holy arrows too slow to save but fast enough to kill. He watched in an morbid fascination as the blast, a shockwave created by pure white magic meeting pure dark magic literally made the skeleton explode, mangling Thomas' dead body beyond repair of anything short of very, very, very potent spell. Spells that were reserved for the rich and powerful. No, Thomas was not destined for another life- he was destined for a shallow, unmarked grave. Avenged perhaps but...

Avenged? No, Thomas would not be avenged. Not until these two dark specters of death were completely destroyed. Destroyed beyond even a vague remembrance of their former un-lives. Robinson growled, this was ridiculous, he had heard of skeletons and zombies before but these two dark creatures- they were beyond anything that they had expected. The girl was clearly a very advanced zombie, perhaps some hideous new experiment while the robed figure was- he'd bet his last shiny cen- a lich.

Damnit! Damnit all! Four down and the others hardly seemed to be losing. Most zombies went down with a single arrow and he was sure the girl had been hit more than half a dozen times and, if anything, she seemed to actually be getting stronger and faster. How had she torn off poor Leonard's skull so easily? He looked away, momentarily sickened before sending another arrow in her general direction. It thunked in solidly but she didn't seem to mind and, in fact, smiled at him while she took it out and continued to feed. The lich... well, the lich would never permanently die. Not until they found his phylactery anyways.

But they'd find his phylactery. Robinson promised himself that much. He owed it to everyone here.

"Kill the girl first." He ordered, still betting that she was the weaker of the duo. After Leonard had died he was the ranking member of this small troupe. "Save your arrows for the lich- don't let him get too close. Lichs command deadly magic, their touch is-"

And then the battle was joined.

Vangul felt two arrows fly in to his cloak, which was waving as he ran. The arrows hung off of the cloak flailing around. Vangul reached his target, and shoved his knife effortlessly through the startled Archer's throat. He turned his knife while it was in her, and pulled it out through the side of her neck, causing an explosion of blood to spray out of her hanging neck. He threw her limp body to the floor, where it continued to spray out blood.

He felt two more arrows pierce him. One went through his arm bone, another in his rib. Both caused a numb tingling feeling, which he knew meant he was being burnt by a holy power. He gripped the arrow in his arm and ripped it out, throwing it over the barricade. Then he ripped out the one in his ribs. A normal skeleton's bones would have crumbled under these circumstances, but Vangul's bones were enforced by intense dark magic, and they were more sturdy than human bones under decay. Still...He would need to avoid getting hit any more. His host could not take that much more physical abuse without starting to lose functionality.

Half of the Encampment had been slain, and only two archers remained. He looked to Robinson, the archer who seemed to be in charge of the rest. He would be the most difficult to take out, but he needed to get rid of these archers fast. "You guys aren't the only ones with ranged attacks!" he yelled. He held out his wand, aiming it at Robinson, there was a large crack and a bolt of enervation shot towards him, focused with all the hate Vangul could muster. He wasn't quite good at aiming from such long distances, but he felt sure that he was right on. This man probably wouldn't die if he got hit by it, but he would certainly be less useful in the fight.

The shot probably would have hit Robinson and even killed him but Tanya, the only other surviving archer, was fast enough to crash into him, sending him flying out of the way of the deadly projectile. In most heroic stories she would have taken the blow and died, her last words bleeding out an unrequited love that would have summoned some god or goddess from the heavens to deal with this scourge of undead. Fortunately for Tanya, the shot went harmlessly over both their heads.

"Thanks." Robinson said wryly, untangling their bodies. "That would have been rather dangerous."

"mullete." Tanya spat, her foul words surprising pseudo-paladin Robinson. "I'm not dead."

Robinson felt the world dangerously totter. "Wh-?"

"It's a well documented fact sir." Tanya replied grimly. "When somebody saves someone's life without dying... it's no longer fiction. It's horror."

Robinson felt a chill wind blow through him as he gave voice to that thought that plagued most people who weren't quite as genre conscious. He had always wondered why Tanya, the brightest and most talented member of their retinue, had flunked out of paladin college. Now he knew.

"What did you say-?" And then he died as Tanya drew a dagger from her belt and killed him.

"I am sorry Robinson." She said as she closed his surprised eyes. "Some things just need to be done in horror stories." Then she vaulted off the roof, revealing two gleaming daggers that glinted wetly in the moonlight.

She motioned to Vangul. "I will slay thee, monster." Then she charged.



They had stabbed her. Stabbing felt funny. Robyn-rin gleefully grabbed the sword-arms that were stabbing her and simply gave a little tug. Bones snapped and crackled as she did so, and she felt ever-so happy. This was how life should be.

"Oh fusk, the pain!" One of the paladin wannabes cried. He let go of the sword. The other one, more foolish, or more convinced of his righteousness stayed put, smashing a gauntleted fist into her face. She felt her nose crack and made a mou of distaste. Noses were difficult to repair! She replied by jumping forwards and biting at his neck.

He probably would have managed to escape this particular move if it had not been for female acrobatics. A harried and unbelieving "Tanya?" were the last words the paladin uttered before strong and powerful jaws crunched into his collarbone.

Vangul muttered a curse under his breath. He would have had it if it weren't for that damn archer. Oh well...She did kill the one Vangul tried to kill, he supposed it were more horrifying for him to die at a friend's hand than a liches. Vangul burst in to a cackle reminiscent of a Banshee's bloodcurdling scream. He was so evil that he caused his victims to kill each other! How wonderfully dreadful!

He looked over to Robyn, who was doing extroardinarily well. She was unhuman...even unzombie-like strength. She tugged gently and ripped grown men's arms off. She lunged feet in the air and bit deep in to paladin's necks. She was amazing! Perhaps she didn't mean to be evil, but she was certainly capable of killing.

Vangul was gazing at the fight scene in wonder, as if he were a little kid at a circus. Look at how much blood there was. He looked around in awe at a horribly grotescue scene and giggled. "Yes!" he yelled. "Who's bad?! We're bad! We're evil! Baaaad to the boooone!"

He laughed maniacally at the top of his nonexistant lungs. It was almost enough to bring a tear to the eye, whether it was because of the beauty or hilarity of the scene was undecided. Vangul looked at the still warm corpse at his feet, the stream of blood slowing down in to a dribble. The ground around him was soaked with blood. This was far better than he had done in a long time!

Then out of nowhere the archer who had both saved and killed her comrade did a fancy flip and landed in front of him. She threatened him in a cold voice, her adrenalyne clearly going to her head. She was quite the bold idiot. THen she charged, and Vangul laughed and jumped out of the way.

"You Impudent Mortal!" he shouted at her. "Who the hell do you think you are...talking to me like that? You'd think you actually expect to survive this fight. I'd go in to the details about how you cant really kill me, but I'll spare you the details, since you aren't worth the time..."

His eyes began to glow with a bright red, and he held his dagger out in front of him. " I admire your capacity for evil though." he said. "That doesn't change the fact that your alive, and obnoxiously cocky!" He growled at her and jumped high in to the air, diving towards the woman with his knife held out. "Now this is what I call an arrow!"

"You are mistaken, monster." The warrior woman replied, parrying the blade easily- stopping the lich's momentum by deflecting it away. She feinted to the left and then dove in with her wickedly sharp dagger. It had supposedly been forged by a god or another but the woman who wielded it only knew that it had served her well on many occasions and even if it was as effective as any normal weapon was on undead she considered it her good luck charm and had never gone to battle without it.

The hit had missed though. The luck-conscious pseudo-paladin considered this and took a short leap backwards, not liking what this portended. "Nothing is evil. Not you, not the childe, not Thomson nor Richard nor Leonard. Not even I. Only the gods may judge such things and they died out long ago. Good and evil died with them. What is left is nothing but an unending tale, an unceasing story-"

She charged again at the lich, both blades glinting. "And no one- no one- cares how it ends!"



All these meanie-poohs sure were tasty! Robyn cracked open the skull of another one in glee and started scooping out brain matter. Having been used to horror and now fighting from pure desperation, the remaining warriors dove towards her heedless of her revolting actions and hacked away with abandon. Before Robyn had even the chance to rise she was assailed from all sides and almost lost a limb in the sudden thrashing motion of steel and flesh. A lucky blow nearly severed one of her legs but hey who needed legs when the treatsies were so close? Leaning forwards, the small undead girl that called herself Robyn-rin grabbed onto the closest moving body and bore it onto the earth- not by weight- but by the surprise and pain of having one of his archer's arrows jabbed right back into him.

Vangul chuckled. "Ooh, so you do have some moves I see." He moved to the side and parried one of her blades with his dagger, and pushing away her other arm with his boney fingers. He ran behind her, and aimed his wand at her, daring her to move. He stared at her with his pupilless red eyes, contemplating this paticular mortal's motives. It would be a horrifying sight to most people, those red merciless eyes, yet here she stood facing him as if he were a petty street thug. It was infuriating,

"What is it with you woman?!" he asked. "You show no traces of fear...Are you truly stupid, or do you really think you can win?! Don't you understand, I am your executioner! You will not escape here alive! You are an ignorant moron if you think you can win!"

Vangul attempted to spit on the ground, an old habit of his which was made hard by the lack of flesh or a body. All that came out was a weird gurgled clicking sound. "Look at your friends..." he said gesturing around the encampment with his free hand. "Look at all your friends, dead as dirt! That zombie child..." He gestured to Robyn. "..Could take this whole encampment without my help I imagine, and what she does with your comrades bodies is honoring them compared to what I will do to them. "

His eyes turned dark blood red, a sign that he was angry. He usually didn't get angry in a fight, he usually relished in the fresh smell of copper and the splatter of fresh cut spilled blood. When that happened they turned bright red, but now he was angry.

"You say there is no such thing as good or evil. You are stupid! Even a mere child has a basic understanding of good and evil! Do you think I have any good in me?! No! I am an embodiment of all that is evil and dark! I will prove to you I am evil! I will kill you you puny reject, and then when Im done, I will cut the meat off your bones, and give it to a butcher...Then I will turn your bones in to toothpicks and loungechairs! Prepare to leave this mortal coil, and beging your endless torment!"

Vangul let fly a powerful dark bolt of shadow energy, which crackled like a thousand bones snapping together. It fizzled and went flying straight towards the warrior woman, prepared to end her pathetic life.

The warrior woman stood her ground, and then, at the very last moment, rolled away. She had absorbed the frenetic rantings of her foe without a trace of compassion or empathy or even understanding- it would have been odd if she had displayed such feelings. Tanya, ever since she was a waif, had been one apart from the norms of mores of society- a soul living in a fantasy of a fantasy or so to speak. Words meant little to her now, and speech even less. She knew what she knew by what she could effect.

She had never seen a god, thus they did not exist. She had never seen an embodiment of evil nor an embodiment of good. She had taken up training to become a paladin because her family had a longstanding tradition of churning out high quality paladins but that had been an immense error. Tanya was not of paladin material.

"You are mistaken." She replied, even as she tumbled to the ground. Her body a blur of motion she somehow managed to get back onto her feet without ever seeming to have bent her knees though she must have since she had curled up into a tight ball while rolling. "You are like the wolves that eat the sheep. Humans may name you evil but you are not. Having been human you even believe the lies that have been perpetuated for countless eons."

Once again her blades flickered as she rushed forwards.

"It's all just a passing dream. You are the horror of the night, but not the evil that roams it."



Dead all dead. Liz felt like laughing. She also felt like crying. She felt a lot of things including the undead waif that was eating her fingers. Not eating... modifying. She felt a shiver run down her spine as the thing seemed to consider her right hand and then bite off the thumb. It was odd how the pain was muted. Probably had something to do with the big gaping hole in the side of her neck. The creeping numbness was probably a really bad sign.

"Thank you Meanie-pooh!" Robyn said cheerfully as she bit off her own thumb and put on Elizabeth's counterpart. "Robyn-rin needed a new thumb." She considered the unmoving, unblinking figure. "And maybe a new leg."

It was something to be thankful for though. She had seen the others, they had died in extraordinary pain. The world revolved around small favors- she just hoped that the lich couldn't trap their souls. At this point, reanimation was probably a distinct reality. Tanya... Tanya... She felt a wet cracking sound as her leg was torn off and then Elizabeth knew no more.