With a quiet shudder, Tarn Va Thaeindor glanced up at the awe-inspiring statue. He felt insignificant beneath the broad span of its wings and its stately, wise face. It carried a stone torch in its right hand, brandishing it far in front of him, and a book in its left, hanging down by its side. Tarn Va Thaeindor touched the stone with amazement, still fascinated by the fact that the people on this world built with stone. He muttered a quiet blessing on the stone, trying not to think of the pain it must have gone through to build this great angel he saw in front of him.

Before that day at the lake, whenever that had been, he had not known that angels even existed. He had met an angel there, one whose name he could not recall. It started with an A, that much he knew, but his name was not of importance just then. That angel had not looked quite as beautiful as this one. Even made out of fading stone, its features were perfect, its wings just right, its plumage as detailed as the sculptor had been able to get it. It made Tarn Va Thaeindor feel humble, a feeling he had grown away from since his first day on Arda. He was not sure he liked the feeling, but he knew, deep down, that it was good for him.

With a quiet sigh, Tarn Va Thaeindor rested at the foot of the statue. He leaned against the cool stone and closed his eyes. Presently, he fell asleep, and dreamed a strange dream...

'My child, why do you run so from yourself?' the voice asked. It was a clear, pure voice, without pitch so he could not know if it was male or female. Tarn Va Thaeindor could not find where it came from, so he sat quietly waiting for it to speak again. Instead of words, the voice spoke in thunder, with lightning to enunciate it. When the lightning flashed, it illumined a huge statue, hundreds of feet tall, of an old man holding a shepherd's crook and two tablets with writing on them. As the voice spoke with lightning and thunder, Tarn Va Thaeindor watched the huge statue, staring intently at the tablets, trying to make out what they said. However, his attempts were futile; the writing was in a different language.

'My child, why do you run so from yourself?' the voice asked. Its voice was now the whispering of trees, but Tarn Va Thaeindor could speak that language. 'Why do you run, my child?' Tarn Va Thaeindor looked around for the voice, but it was coming from everywhere at once. Tarn Va Thaeindor looked back at the huge statue, and as he did, lightning struck it and burned within it, and the statue glowed with power, light, and life. Then it was gone.

'My child, why do you run so from yourself?' the voice asked. Its voice was the snarling cacophony of all the animals of the forest, but Tarn Va Thaeindor could speak that language. Tarn Va Thaeindor opened his eyes, and he was in the midst of a raging rainstorm. His hair quickly plastered to his face, neck, and back, and the world began to spin around him as the voice asked again, 'Why do you run, my child?' And Tarn Va Thaeindor answered, in a voice that was not his own, 'I run from myself. I run from myself.' His voice was the sound of the wild beasts of the forests.

'My child, why do you run so from yourself?' the voice asked. Its voice was the sound of rushing water, streaming and gurgling and laughing its way through life. But Tarn Va Thaeindor could speak that language. Tarn Va Thaeindor whispered and gurgled and rushed along with it, laughing and singing as he did. 'I run from myself,' he said in a voice that was not his own. 'I run from myself.' The laughing and gurgling stopped, he stopped, and the world stopped.

'My child, why do you run so from yourself?' the voice asked. The voice was that of his people. With a shout, Tarn Va Thaeindor began to run, run toward the voice, run away from the voice, around it, through it, above it, below it. However far he ran he could not find its source. 'I run from myself,' he panted in his own tongue, 'I run from myself.'

'Why do you run, my child? Why do you run? Why do you run?' and suddenly, other voices joined the first. Voices joined the chant until thousands were whispering at him. Tens of thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Millions. All whispered in his tongue, 'Why do you run? Why do you run?' Tarn Va Thaeindor wept. His tears, instead of falling, rose into the sky and mingled with the voices, calling out again and again, 'Why do you run, why do you run?' Then it was Tarn Va Thaeindor's turn. 'I run from myself. I run from you. I run from everyone. I run from myself. I run from myself. I run from myself!' His voice mingled with theirs, and the tears dried on his face. The sun broke through the sky and poured over him, renewing him, strengthening him. His voice was his own once more. 'I run from myself. I run from myself...' but it changed. The words changed. 'Why do you run, my child? Why do you run?' Tarn Va Thaeindor gloried in the warmth on his skin, for he had not realized how cold he was before then. His hair changed colors from blond to silver and back again, his eyes from blue to green, to hazel like his elf friend. Then they were blue again, and he cried out with his own voice, and his own hair, and his own eyes, 'I run from myself!' 'Why do you run...?’

"Why do you run...?” Tarn Va Thaeindor mumbled as he woke. The dream was clear in his mind for the few precious seconds, but then it was gone, as if by a strange wind. However, the words "why do you run?" stuck firmly in his head. He shook it carefully and stood up, expecting, for some odd reason, there to be a hundred-foot statue to his right. When all he saw was the much shorter statue of an angel, Tarn Va Thaeindor laughed at his own folly. Why would the statue have been so large? With a much quieter chuckle, Tarn Va Thaeindor looked around the oddly deserted city. He had expected someone to be here beside him, but the air was still, and he could hear no voices or sounds at all. It was an eerie silence, but one that Tarn Va Thaeindor appreciated. The plain language of Arda grew hard on the ears after a while, even such ears as his.

Tarn Va Thaeindor looked up at the statue that had inspired such awe and respect in him earlier. Suddenly, he had the urge to climb it, sit on the man's head, and sing at the top of his lungs. Tarn Va Thaeindor looked around once more, making sure that no eyes were watching, and began to search for footholds in the smooth stone. When he finally found one, he bounded up the statue, using the angel's arms and creases in his robe to get higher. He was by no means trying to deface the statue; he only wished to be at the top. He only wished...

I run from myself! The phrase suddenly exploded into his mind, and he almost slipped off the statue. Where had that come from? It gave him a feeling of déjà vu that he disliked and distrusted. When had he ever said that before in his life? He closed his eyes, trying to remember, but couldn't come up with anything. Instead, he decided to ignore it for the present, and get to the angel's head. And suddenly, there it was. Its face looked perfect up close, even better than it had looked from the ground. Tarn Va Thaeindor grinned and kissed the man on the nose as a playful gesture.

Then, he levered himself up on his shoulders and swung himself up and around to face the same way as the statue did. He smiled triumphantly as he landed lightly on the man's stony hair. There was dirt in it, and the remnants of a bird's nest.

"Ah, how tall you stand, angel. How did you get to be here? What great deeds have you done to earn you a great statue in a forgotten little village? Should this not be an insult, angel? Should you not come and smite me from the skies for climbing on your legacy?" Tarn Va Thaeindor's laugh was bitter, a sound he was still uncomfortable with, but that escaped his lips more often of late. He really did pity the angel, but he had no way of knowing whether the angel was still around to hear his words, who the angel served, or anything else about the creature. Nevertheless, he was one of the most beautiful races Tarn Va Thaeindor had ever seen. Who would have thought that people having wings was even plausible? With a sad smile, Tarn Va Thaeindor resigned himself to the fact that he had been extremely naive before he had come here. If his people could see him now, what would they think of him? He had acted differently ever since he had come to be on this wretched world.

Tarn Va Thaeindor stroked the head of the angel thoughtfully, wondering what in the world he was doing up on the head of a statue. If any person were to come by, he would get in a lot of trouble. On the other hand, mayhap they would just laugh at him and call him a fool. Either one was unpleasant to think about. Tarn Va Thaeindor had lost any and all of his desire to sing, and so he sat silently, brooding over his life: the past, the present, and most of all, the future. He did not know what was in store for him. How could he? He had once thought he would live out his thousands of years in peace, but he had not. He could not safely think anything. Not even...

My child, why do you run so from yourself? Tarn Va Thaeindor jumped at the thought. He did not remember thinking that, but there it was, sparkling in his mind before him. He licked his lips nervously, an extremely annoying habit he had never gotten over. The voice that had thought the thought was certainly not his own, yet whose was it, and why was it in his head if it was someone else's voice? Tarn Va Thaeindor shifted his position on the angel's head and thought over this new idea carefully. He wondered if, in Arda, it was possible to dislocate your voice and put in someone else's mind. It didn't seem likely, but then again, people with wings didn't seem likely either, yet there they were. He was sitting on one.

Tarn Va Thaeindor tried to ignore the nagging feeling inside of him. Something was certainly wrong, yet he could not place what it was...

Stillness encompassed his thoughts and the world around him. Nothing moved, he hardly breathed. He waited for something to happen. He looked up at the sky, halfway expecting someone to fall on his head. Instead, all he saw were dark storm clouds moving toward him. He looked down into the little city around him and tried to look inconspicuous, which was a great deal harder than he had imagined, seeing as he was sitting on top of the most prominent and significant thing in the entire city.

The person he had seen was walking with his head down, though, and already he had gone back inside some building or other. Tarn Va Thaeindor sighed with relief, but did not relax overly much. He might not be so lucky next time. His mind mulled over thoughts of home and thoughts of the strange voice in his head to pass the time. He didn't particularly know what he was waiting for, but he knew there was something, and that something should be coming soon.

Soon and very soon, we are going to see the gods... Tarn Va Thaeindor sang in his mind. He was bored, though he hated to admit it. He had always prided himself on being able to think up something to do when people grew bored. He had hardly ever been bored in his long life, and he didn't wish to start now. Now sing this song, sing this song of light... Aha! He could sing in his head to pass the time. In time, we will see them, in time, in time... This was quite the entertaining way to waste time. He hadn't ever done it before. Ah, what fun! Fun in the sun/ fun in the sand/ breathe in the air/ live on the land... And again. Let's see, now what can I -

Suddenly a loud clap of thunder and a bright flaring lightning interrupted his game. All at once, Tarn Va Thaeindor remembered that there had been a storm in his dreams. The rain had not come yet, but he knew it would. With a sigh, Tarn Va Thaeindor stood precariously on the top of the angel's head. Then, he began to climb carefully down the statue. He could guess that spending a storm on top of a statue was not even half as fun as it was in a tree. Yet he knew he could not spend this storm in a tree, either. He knew that he had to sit at the base of this statue, and wait for someone to come along, or for an idea to come to him, or a voice, or...or anything.

He landed on the ground with little more than a thump and folded his legs beneath him. He sat with a straight back, looking around with eyes and ears that spoke quite plainly of alertness, and of concentration. He listened carefully to the sounds of the approaching storm, long, low rumbles of thunder in the background. His eyes watched the surrounding roads for any sign of human, elf, angel, or other life. His whole body was in a state of intense focus, in which he had not thought it possible for daydream, yet daydream he did. It ended with, 'Why do you run from yourself?' Tarn Va Thaeindor was getting quite sick of the phrase. It had nothing to do with him, quite obviously, so he just wished it would stop revealing itself. He cared nothing for it.

He listened again to the world around him, and this time he heard a new noise. A noise that he recognized as footsteps. His head turned slowly from side to side, searching for the walker, and finally came to rest upon a man walking close by, wearing a dark cloak that threw his face into shadows. The man stopped and turned toward Tarn Va Thaeindor, and Tarn Va Thaeindor stared back at the man, until they were lost in each other. Tarn Va Thaeindor could not see the man's eyes, but he could sense, with some inherent power, that the man was untrustworthy, perhaps even dangerous. He could also sense that the man was distressed, for whatever reason.

Suddenly, Tarn Va Thaeindor noticed a glint of metal in the quickly fading light. The man was carrying a knife out of sheath. Tarn Va Thaeindor knew this as a threat, and stood carefully, brushing himself off slowly, showing that he had no sword, no dagger, and no weapon of any kind. It was the truth, pure and simple, and he would not lie for the sake of this creature. He would bet his life on the fact that the man was an elf. Only an elf would threaten to kill him. Humans seemed indifferent to everything he did. It was the elves he had to worry about. Elves.

"And who might you be, good sir?" Tarn Va Thaeindor asked in an amiable voice, pretending that he had not noticed the dagger.

"No one to concern you," the man replied heatedly. Ah, surely he is upset about something, Tarn Va Thaeindor concluded.

"On the contrary, my dear friend, you concern me more than I would like to admit." Tarn Va Thaeindor did not exactly know why he said that, but it came out and he could do nothing to take it back. He could feel the man's anger flowing toward him, encircling him, and prodding at him for weaknesses. Tarn Va Thaeindor resisted the urge to laugh. If it came to a fight, the man would win, undoubtedly. Even if the Aerin Ishtheh was proficient in hand-to-hand combat, it was nothing compared to a well-wielded dagger.

The man only growled, and then lifted his hands to his cowl and threw back the hood with a loud cackle. The man was clearly insane, or perhaps just drunk. An odd place to be, though... it made Tarn Va Thaeindor wonder. It was odd that this man should show up when the entire city had been quiet. It had to be the person he had been waiting for, but why was he waiting for this man? Then Tarn Va Thaeindor looked at the creatures face.

It had an elf's pointed ears, but it was no elf. This had to be a creature of the darkness. This had to be a demon, or something of the kind. With a startled exclamation, Tarn Va Thaeindor stumbled backward into the statue, and the demon laughed.

The noise was an awful sound, jarring and grating against his ears more and more the longer it lasted. Finally, when it ended, Tarn Va Thaeindor found that he was kneeling on the ground, with his head bent and his ears covered, trying to keep the sound from reaching him, though it pierced through his hand as if they were nothing. Tarn Va Thaeindor could not think of any sound worse than what he had just heard. His ears were throbbing with the sound of it.

"I have a reason to believe that you have just been visited by my enemy. I am here to ask you a question. If you answer it correctly, you will live and come with me. If you answer incorrectly, you will die. If you deign not to answer the question, you will die. What shall it be, elf?" The demon's voice was almost as bad as his laugh. Tarn Va Thaeindor had trouble hearing any words through the noise, but when he finally made it out, he nodded quickly. He would listen to this question. He hoped that it was a fair one. He hoped that it was not a riddle.

Riddles had always been the one thing as a scholar he had failed to master. Luckily, it wasn't required that you know how to solve riddles to join the High Society, or he would never have made it. His logical mind could not think through the riddles in anything but a logical way, and most riddles were not logical.

"My question is this: Who are you?" Tarn Va Thaeindor blinked.

"But you couldn't know! How will you know if I speak the truth?" he questioned the creature. The demon held up a slimy pale hand and spoke in that discordant voice,

"I will know."

That was all the reassurance Tarn Va Thaeindor needed. The tone of that voice, the hint of underlying threat and menace and downright evil, was enough to put him in check. Tarn Va Thaeindor knew the answer, of course, but he thought that it must be a trick question of some kind. That could only make sense. The question had been "who are you?" which was not always the same as "what is your name?” It did not always mean that, but it did often enough that Tarn Va Thaeindor mostly thought of it as the same. Yet he did not know who he was now, only his name, where he was from, who his people were. He could hope that would be enough.

"I -” he began to say, but at the last second his words changed and he said instead, "I run from myself." With a shriek, the demon fell to the ground, writhing around, calling out names and words in a different language that Tarn Va Thaeindor did not know. All he could do was stare in shock at the convulsing creature. He had most certainly not told him the correct answer, yet look what was happening! The demon was dying. It was as if his words had burned it.

The convulsing gradually stopped, and Tarn Va Thaeindor crept closer, trying to see whether the creature was dead or not. As he neared him, the smell of blood grew stronger. Finally, he was standing over the prone body. He could not see the chest moving. He did not hear breath wheezing through its lungs. Blood was pooling around its smashed skull. Yet something about it made him wary. He did not think the demon was dead.

Tarn Va Thaeindor moved around to the man's other side, and crouched down. He examined the demon's face, thinking of how awful it was. He reached for the man's arm to see if there was a pulse, but his fingers never touched the arm. Instead, the arm touched him. Grabbed him, more like.

"I am dead. I do not die," the dead creature rasped. The grip on Tarn Va Thaeindor's arm was strong, but the fingers were cold and brittle to the touch. Tarn Va Thaeindor tried to jerk away from the dead man, but the creature clung to him until Tarn Va Thaeindor felt his arm would be ripped out of his socket if he struggled anymore. With a frown, Tarn Va Thaeindor asked him,

"What do you need? What do you want me for?" The dead man pulled himself up into Tarn Va Thaeindor's face.

"Because," it said, and Tarn Va Thaeindor could smell its foul breath, "my master would not have you belong to his enemy. Oh no, no, no..." Its voice crawled down Tarn Va Thaeindor's spine, causing him to shiver. "Frightened, are we?" the creature asked, and laughed in that jarring way of his.

"Not frightened, disgusted." It was certainly true. Tarn Va Thaeindor had never seen a creature quite like this one, and he was one to loathe, obviously. The man's skin was papery; his flesh cold to the touch, and its voice...its voice was the worst. It made Tarn Va Thaeindor shudder just to think of it. The dead man truly was despicable.

"Disgust is close enough," the dead man said irritably. "Now. I will take you to my master." The dead man began to push himself up, but Tarn Va Thaeindor got up first and pushed the dead man back down to the ground. He heard a tearing sound, and then Tarn Va Thaeindor was off, running through the streets of the quiet city, whirling around corners, hoping that he would not run into anyone. He could not hear the demon following, but he was quite positive it would be. Tarn Va Thaeindor ran as if his life depended on it, which it did, in a way. His hair blew into his face, impairing his vision and causing him to stumble quite often. Whenever he fell, he picked himself up as quickly as he could, and then went sprinting again down the roads.

Some invisible hand led him around the city, and straight toward a well-kept building near the middle of the town. The hand forced him to run up the steps, implored him to ignore the beautiful art on the door, and rushed him inside and behind a door to the left. There, it let him go, and Tarn Va Thaeindor relaxed visibly. His entire body slumped, and his breath was ragged and gasping, as befitting a sprint across the city. Once his body quieted down, Tarn Va Thaeindor persuaded himself to look around. With a start, he realized there were two huge brown eyes staring at him. Tarn Va Thaeindor zoomed out, trying to focus on everything around him, not just the eyes of the animal in front of him. It was a deer. A wild deer, in this small room. Tarn Va Thaeindor resisted the urge to reach out and touch it with his mind. In Arda, the animals did not respond kindly to foreign minds brushing their own.

Tarn Va Thaeindor sighed, and ignored the deer for a moment to look around the small chamber. The room was made of stone, like most things in Arda. He murmured a prayer for the stone ("Bei oht kanrepese, stoenl"), and then walked along the walls, looking carefully at the odd tapestries hanging from them. They all looked the same at first glance, but once you actually paid attention to the designs, you could see the slight changes in each one of them. They were all the same color: pure white and sky blue, unusual for something dyed. The designs were strange, with the white lines curling around themselves and other white lines, an odd depiction of something Tarn Va Thaeindor knew nothing of. With a frown, Tarn Va Thaeindor decided to ignore them. He wouldn't get any good out of puzzling over what the tapestries meant, though it was in his scholarly nature to be curious about such things. Instead, he focused on the room itself.

The chamber was an odd shape, with five walls, each with a tapestry hanging on it. The stone had the same carvings in it as the tapestries, and everywhere he looked the design surrounded him. Tarn Va Thaeindor's eyes widened as his eyes fell on a little niche in the wall on the far side of the room. In it, he saw something that looked very much like a skeleton...of a human. He glanced at the deer against a wall beside him and felt sorry for the poor animal. For a deer to have to live in one of these accursed places was terrible...and cruel. Why would anyone do this to an innocent deer? With a quiet noise, Tarn Va Thaeindor extended his hand to the creature, who backed away, terrified. A tear slipped out of the corner of his eyes, and he wiped it away on the sleeve of his tunic. He would not weep for this deer. How he hated rejection, though. The slightest movement startled the creature. It was so different from Tarn Va Thaeindor's own world...

Tarn Va Thaeindor sat dispiritedly on the floor, reluctant to leave the room for fear of that undead monstrosity. He had not feared anything but rejection and his own feelings when he lived in Keehrr, but now...Arda was very different from Keehrr. Now there were creatures of evil just waiting to attack someone like him. There were strange dreams, strange buildings, and strange forests. His life seemed more like a nightmare with every passing day.

Suddenly, tears began to escape his eyes, and a song pushed its way into his mind. A song that he had heard often in Keehrr, it was a favorite of their race, for who knew why. It talked of death and disaster, then rebirth, and then more death...it was a depressing song, but one that always provoked raw emotion in the toughest of the Aerin Ishtheh. He had cried and laughed and grown angry at the very sound of this song before. Now...now it was much, much worse.

With a sob so loud he thought his brethren on Keehrr might have heard it, Tarn Va Thaeindor melted into tears. Around him, unbeknownst to him, his magic swirled around and cascaded the room in shining colors and bright light. The deer transformed into a being of light as he cried, and the tapestries glowed with his strange, arcane power. A sound of great, thrumming bells filled the air, causing the deer to turn its head and stare at Tarn Va Thaeindor, who was oblivious to the entire performance. His grief overwhelmed everything around him, and even if he had not been weeping, the noises would not have affected him.

The arcane lights glittered on the tapestries, bending to their design and desire. The deer, cloaked in light, watched the goings-on with fear and awe. It had never seen the like of what was happening now. The magic glittered away into the depths of the yarn, causing the tapestries to pulse with magic and strength and love. Finally, Tarn Va Thaeindor looked up, brushing tears away from his eyes, and noticed the magic in the tapestries as his own. With a startled exclamation, Tarn Va Thaeindor jumped to his feet.

"What has happened?" he shouted in his own language, oblivious to the fact that the magic also cloaked the deer beside him. He touched the tapestries and felt the energy flow into him. He jerked his hand back. He had to get his magic out of the tapestries. How was he to do that? How? His magic was even now creeping into the walls, and the skeleton in the niche.

"Daenolich! Daenolich!" he called in his own language. "Daenolich, kuom mek!" But his magic did not heed him this time. It was unruly in this world. In fact, he had thought it was gone from him. Nevertheless, here it was, pouring into the stone all around him. He sucked it back into him, as much of it as he could, but try as he might it would not stay. His tears had unbound it, and now it was finally escaping him.

"Daenolich, daenolich..." he murmured, giving up his futile attempts. It still swirled through the air around him, cascading in shimmers, but he was oblivious to it all. He had eyes and thoughts only for his own loss. The deer stood forgotten in a corner of the room. It watched Tarn Va Thaeindor with a curious look on its animal face. It was experiencing a strange clarity of thought that had never happened to it before. The deer felt as if it could walk up to the human, unafraid, and that was huge...for a deer.

Tarn Va Thaeindor leaned against the wall, feeling his magic being absorbed into the stones. The stones began to turn lighter, from the near black it had been, to grey, and finally to white. They positively glowed with light and warmth, and Tarn Va Thaeindor felt it. With a cry, he threw himself at the white wall.

"Give it back!" he shouted in his own language. He felt like a child screaming for a lost toy, but the stone was taking his magic. The stone was using his magic to make it more beautiful. He looked at the tapestries, and saw their fading pictures growing stronger, and he finally laid eyes upon the deer. His mouth fell open in surprise. It stood there with a knowing expression on its face, and its fur was slowly turning from brown to white. Its antlers were changing, growing as he watched, and becoming stronger and healthier. Instead of the light tan color they had been, they were now silver. But the eyes were the most startling change. While before they had been the deep brown of the forest, they were now the same bright blue as Tarn Va Thaeindor's eyes. It was a startling and terrifying change. A deer with blue eyes is a fearsome creature.

He was not sure if the deer knew of its change yet, but he could tell the creature was growing more intelligent by the second. The light that is in the eyes of men filled the animal's eyes. However, just as Tarn Va Thaeindor was beginning to feel afraid of this extremely intelligent creature, the light began to fade, and the creature returned to its normal state of mind, a simple animal once more. Yet its coat was still white, its eyes were still blue, and it glowed. It glowed with his life and magic. Tarn Va Thaeindor reached out his hand once more to the deer, and was surprised when the deer came forward and placed its nose on his hand.

It was just then that the door opened. As Tarn Va Thaeindor was facing it, he could see straight away that it was not the demon. The person was wearing a white robe that trailed on the floor. When he saw what had happened in the chamber, he promptly fainted. Tarn Va Thaeindor watched as the man crumpled to the ground, hostility in every line of his face. This man had been the one to keep the deer here. Tarn Va Thaeindor knew it. He turned back to the deer, stroked its nose once, and then went over to kneel by the man. He had not died, thankfully, and nothing was broken. Tarn Va Thaeindor reached out and shook the man, trying to wake him.

He succeeded eventually, and the man sat up very slowly.

"What...what happened?" he asked in a nervous voice. Tarn Va Thaeindor frowned at him.

"You fainted." Tarn Va Thaeindor studied the man's face, memorizing every line of it. If he chanced to meet this man again, he would kill him.

"No, no, I know that! What happened here?" The man gestured at the room around them, with the white stones, the glowing tapestries, and the blue-eyed deer. With contempt, Tarn Va Thaeindor hauled the man to his feet. At least he wasn't an elf, or else he would most likely be dead by now. Tarn Va Thaeindor was furious. His grief swept away like paper in wind.

"How could you do such a thing to the deer? How dare you keep it here, trapped, in such a small room! There is a dead man in the wall over there. Did you know that? Did you know?" The man nodded numbly, awed by the sight of an angry Aerin Ishtheh. Although he probably thinks me an elf.

"It was for...we were going to...well, well, you see..." the man tried to talk, but between his quivering and the tight hold Tarn Va Thaeindor had on his arm, he couldn't get the words out. With a scowl, Tarn Va Thaeindor let go of him, but barred the door before he could escape.

"Tell me, human!" Tarn Va Thaeindor snarled. Anger and revulsion filled him at the sight of the man groveling in front of him.

"We needed something innocent!" he finally managed to say. "We were, we are...I'm...no one was supposed to know! We were going to - to burn it." He cringed away from the look on Tarn Va Thaeindor's face.

"Burn it! Burn an innocent? Why in all creation would you do something so terrible? Tell me!" Tarn Va Thaeindor's face was the picture of righteous anger. If he did not abhor the thought of beating someone, this man would be black and blue in a matter of seconds.

The man shook with fear as he gazed at the tall, blond elf that towered above him. His eyes were the same color as the deer's...in his mind the man began to piece things together. The white walls, the changed deer, and the strange man. It wasn't just a man; it was a messenger of the gods! He had to be...

"I do not...I do not know, great and mighty god-favored..." he whimpered, terrified all the more now that he knew this man was sent by gods to smite him. He fell to his knees in front of the Aerin Ishtheh. Tarn Va Thaeindor could do nothing but stare at the man. God-favored? An odd choice of words, but god was the word for their deities...this man must think him some sort of god, or follower of a god. With a slight frown, he spoke again to the sniveling priest at his feet,

"You do know. Tell me. Now." His voice was as ice, and his eyes reflected his feelings of rage and cold, calculating justice.

"I...I repent of my sins, let the goddess take them from me! Let the goddess cleanse me from my wrong-doings and evil!" The man clasped his hands together and acted like he was praying.

"That is no answer!" Tarn Va Thaeindor roared. The man covered his head and sank entirely onto the floor.

"I sacrifice them to the god of darkness...to Raku, the god of darkness..." the man began to weep into the floorboards. With a feeling of great anger, Tarn Va Thaeindor reached down and picked the man off up the floor. He weighed hardly anything. Staring straight at the man's pale, trembling face, he said calmly,

"You will bring me all who do this with you. Tell them you are having a gathering, or whatever you might call it. Bring them all to this room. Do not fail me, creature. Get out of my sight!" He dropped the man to the ground, but gently, so he wouldn't be hurt. Tarn Va Thaeindor was angry enough to kill, but it could wait. The man scampered out of the room as if his own god of darkness was snapping at his heels.

Tarn Va Thaeindor heaved a sigh, trying to expel some of the anger that had gathered inside of him. He could understand from the human's garbled speech that this man was pretending to be sided with the good goddesses, but was truly one of the dark followers. That was a heinous crime, one deserving of punishment...but not by him. Tarn Va Thaeindor was not a holy man of Arda, he knew next to nothing about the goddess, and had no right to convict the men that would come together here. He had to find a priest that was truly a priest of the Goddess of Life.

With one last look at the deer, Tarn Va Thaeindor opened the door and walked out into the main chamber of this cathedral. He looked around ostentatiously, searching for the false priest he had found. Once he spotted him, he kept a careful note on the people he went to see. Finally, he came upon a priest that he knew would be able to deal with the society that Tarn Va Thaeindor had inadvertently discovered.

"Excuse me...I need to speak with you. Privately, please." This man was also a human. He could trust this one, though. There was an aura of holiness about him that signified belief in and love of the goddess of life. The priest nodded sagely and escorted Tarn Va Thaeindor to a room even smaller than the last one he had occupied.

"What is it that you need?" he asked with a quiet, wise voice.

"I have discovered an alliance amongst the priests here. They work for the god of darkness from within the walls of this sacred place. One of their men was unfortunate enough to come upon me. He was terrified, so he fell to his knees and confessed. He is gathering, at this very moment, the few other followers here. They need receive judgment, but not by my hands. I am no holy man. But you...you must be there to hand them justice, yes?" Tarn Va Thaeindor did not know how these things worked. In Keehrr, a few factions of Aerin Ishtheh followed a god of darkness and vengeance, but no one caught them. Aerin Ishtheh were not cowards like humans. They did not reveal themselves willingly.

The priest watched him thoughtfully for a few moments, before finally nodding his head. "I must see if you speak the truth. I will go with you." Tarn Va Thaeindor thanked him, and then beckoned him to follow him down to the room he had previously occupied. The deer was still there.

"Goddess above!" the priest said as he laid eyes upon the animal. "And the room, look at the stones! What has happened here?" The question reminded Tarn Va Thaeindor of the other human that had also asked that question.

"Your brother seemed to think I was a messenger of the Goddess of Life, and that I was there to impose judgment on him and his kind. My magic escaped me while I wept." That was the only explanation he gave the dumbfounded priest, who was still staring at the deer with awe in his eyes. After a moment he snapped out of it, and suddenly he was all business once more.

"Quickly, hide in that niche. Ignore the dead man; the skeleton is old and crumbling anyways. Quickly, quickly! They must think me one of their members!" Tarn Va Thaeindor did not like being told what to do, and he was not particularly keen on the idea of hiding with a dead man crammed up against him. However, he also did not wish the false priest and his friends to kill him. When he finally persuaded himself that it was necessary, he went over to the dead man's resting place and tried to squish himself into the small opening. He finally succeeded by crushing the man's skull. Tarn Va Thaeindor shuddered at the thought of what he had just done, but he was hidden now, and he could offer up a prayer for the dead man.

"Let him rest peacefully in the lands beyond these," he said in his own language. The priest stood there looked grim as he awaited the arrival of the false priests. Slowly they began to trickle in. One by one, they came, and each saw the deer and fainted, or staggered backward as if a blow had been dealt them. All the same, they stayed, watching it with wary eyes. Finally, the first priest Tarn Va Thaeindor had met came in. Tarn Va Thaeindor began to count heads. The total came out to thirteen. Excepting the true priest, of course. Tarn Va Thaeindor was appalled. How could this have gone on under the others noses? It was just too large of a gathering to have existed for a long while without detection.

"Well. I...the deer...Raku's humble priest welcomes - " the false priest started, but never finished.

"Traitors! Traitors, the lot of you!" Tarn Va Thaeindor blinked as the true priest spoke. He had expected him to wait a while longer before actually speaking up. Obviously, the priest did not have the same idea. "I have been confessed to, told of your names, and the dark sacrifices you have made in the name of your god of darkness. It will not be tolerated in a sacred cathedral of the goddess of life!" The false priests were chuckling to each other, amused at this effort to stop them. Tarn Va Thaeindor thought he should go to the aid of the true priest before someone killed him. The foolish man.

As Tarn Va Thaeindor struggled to get himself out of the niche, the deer, in the opposite corner of the room, made a loud noise. Everyone swiveled to look at it. Tarn Va Thaeindor pushed himself out while they were preoccupied.

"I say we kill the creature! What happened to the deer that was in here, anyway?" one of the men asked.

"Someone probably found it and swapped it for this thrice-cursed beast. Look at it! The blue eyes..."

Tarn Va Thaeindor snuck behind one of them and grabbed him around the mouth. The man kicked until Tarn Va Thaeindor turned his face up to look at him. The man quieted as he saw the same colors eyes on this man as the deer had. The false priest's entire body stilled, and Tarn Va Thaeindor set him on the ground. The fury was back in his eyes and face, and the man did not utter a single word as he moved on to the next person. This one put up more of a fight, but no one heard because they were all chattering amiably about how to kill the deer and the priest that had called them traitors. It almost made Tarn Va Thaeindor laugh at their stupidity, but he did not. He was wiser than they were.

When the false priest saw his eyes, and the fury that resided there, the fight slowly drained out of him. Something to do with the magic in the room helped to keep the man silent. Suddenly, the deer catapulted into the air, and all eyes followed it. It landed amidst the false priests, who jumped out of the way of its flailing cloven hooves. The deer bounded over to where Tarn Va Thaeindor was standing. Tarn Va Thaeindor reached out a hand and placed it on the animal's back, watching as the men saw him and the deer together, and the two men lying at his feet, both of whom were looking up at him with awe and fear in their eyes. The false priests stood amazed for a few moments, and then one of them regained his senses to ask the question,

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Tarn Va Thaeindor turned his icy gaze on the speaker. The human looked back unafraid. He was young, hardly past eighteen, if Tarn Va Thaeindor was any judge.

"I act as a messenger of what you call your matron goddess. But you lie about this, do you not?" The man blinked, and looked as if he still doubted what Tarn Va Thaeindor was saying. Some of the other men were weeping and asking that the goddess forgive them their sins, as the first man had done. His gaze swept over all of them to land on the one true priest among them.

Tarn Va Thaeindor did not speak to him, but the man came forward slowly and stood right next to him.

"Lie about what? What are you damn well talking about?" the false priest asked, though he knew perfectly well what Tarn Va Thaeindor was talking about. Tarn Va Thaeindor could not hear the fear in his voice, but his eyes were a different story. Eyes told all.

"I speak of your loyalty to the God of Darkness." The man looked back, stricken. He really had not believed that Tarn Va Thaeindor knew, before. Now there could be no doubt. Suddenly the man fell to his knees.

"Do not kill me!" he howled. "Do not kill me! All men deserve to live!" With a quick glance at the priest beside him, Tarn Va Thaeindor signaled the human to speak. It was not in his power to judge this man.

"You deserve death. You and all priests who gather here. To betray your goddess is the worst crime that can be committed. The penalty has always been death. By hanging, or by execution. This you know. One among you has betrayed even you...and for this, he is twice the betrayer of gods, and twice cursed in the eyes of all men. You." He pointed his finger at the priest that Tarn Va Thaeindor had spoken to first. "You betrayed your brothers once when you turned to the darkness, and you have betrayed them again, to this man." The priest's finger flung back and pointed at Tarn Va Thaeindor.

"You will be hanged. At first light tomorrow. The rest of you..." the men all looked up, hopeful that they would get away with little punishment. "...you get to decide whether you would rather be hanged or have your head cut off. I want your decisions now." The false priests set up a loud moan. Tarn Va Thaeindor closed his ears to it. It was not his place to question the priest's judgment...but it was hard not to feel a tiny bit of pity for these lost men. Tarn Va Thaeindor turned to the deer and stroked its face thoughtfully, still slightly unnerved by its eyes.

"You did splendidly, my friend," he told it in his own language. The priest looked back with a strange expression on his face, and then returned to staring at the false priests surrounding him.

"Your robes must come off. All white garments you wear will be burned, as is the custom for betrayers." Tarn Va Thaeindor could not bear it anymore. He had to leave, or guilt would consume him over all the people he had condemned to death this night.

"Come," he told the deer, hoping it would understand, and slipped over to the door. The men's wails followed him out into the main chamber, as did the deer. When someone saw the animal he shouted, and everyone stared as the "elf" and the blue-eyed deer walked out of the cathedral without so much as a backward glance. Tarn Va Thaeindor did not know it, but he had just become a legend.


With a quiet smile, Tarn Va Thaeindor approached the tall statue of the angel. He still feared the return of the demon, but he felt protected, in an odd kind of way, by the white deer that walked by his side. It was a beautiful creature, really, and he simply loved deer, and always had. He also loved the deer's enemy, the wolf, but that was quite beside the point. He had not found any wolf to accompany him on his journeys, and had no wish to. The deer was gift enough, and gift it certainly seemed. Perhaps this Goddess of Life was telling him something. Perhaps she had sent him the deer, or caused his magic to spill out. Some higher power had obviously done it, and as that temple was devoted to the goddess of life, it would only make sense if it were she.

He needed to see her, or speak to her, that much was clear. A pity the statue in this small town is not of her. I would like to see a representation of a goddess in stone. How strange that would be. The best of sculptors would have to make it, or perhaps the goddess herself could sculpt it, or create it, or whatever it was that deities could do.

With a quiet laugh, Tarn Va Thaeindor reached out his hand to touch the statue. The stone was quiet beneath his hands, and the whole area around the statue had an aura of serenity that thrilled him. How long it had been since he had felt this way. How very long...

The deer nudged his arm and made a soft noise. He was always surprised when deer made noises. They sounded so awkward; the noise was almost a honk. Tarn Va Thaeindor smiled and stroked it on its soft silver-white nose. It was always a joy to touch an animal, always a joy to brush minds with it...though he still feared to try that with Ardian animals. They were fickle at best.

"You need a name, do you not, my stag?" he asked the deer in a friendly voice. The deer could not understand him, but he enjoyed having someone to talk to. It was best if they didn't talk back and didn't show any reaction to what he was saying, so a deer was perfect. "So many names...however shall I choose? It must be in my native tongue, of course, but what?" Tarn Va Thaeindor thought for a moment, considering all the words he could think of. None sounded quite right. With a frown Tarn Va Thaeindor struggled to find a word that would fit the deer, and finally decided on a name that did not fit quite right, but came as close as he could find.

"Loraith," he said in satisfaction, "Your name is Loraith." Loraith meant purity in his own tongue, and no other word fit the stag as that did. True, the name traditionally belonged to females, but purity certainly fit the stag, even though it was very doubtful that he was truly pure. Nevertheless, he looked it, and so it fit. The deer's ears flicked in different directions and he made the strange honking deer noise again. Tarn Va Thaeindor laughed and then began to sprint around the statue repeatedly, with Loraith bounding beside him. Nothing in the world felt better. The wind caressed him, and he felt the rain pounding down on him, cleansing him.

"Why do you run so from yourself?" He heard the voice distinctly, and his run came to an abrupt halt. He looked up and around, but saw nothing but the deer and the statue, neither of which could speak. Tarn Va Thaeindor turned around, searching for a person that could have spoken that to him. It was a strange thing to say, and the way it was said was strange as well. It had not been in his tongue, which was reassuring. No one in Arda knew his language, and the only explanation for hearing a voice would be insanity...and Tarn Va Thaeindor was perfectly sane. However, as it was, there was no one about, and there was no reason why anyone should ask him that. With a frown, Tarn Va Thaeindor began to move away from the statue, closer to the buildings on either side of the square. The man must be hiding behind one of the strange stone houses.

Loraith followed hesitantly behind him, obviously reluctant to go so close to the place where the false priests had held him for so long. Tarn Va Thaeindor was confident that the deer would not abandon him. When his magic had spilled over the wretched creature back in the temple, the deer had transformed and linked to him with something as strong as he had felt with his brothers and sisters back on Keehrr. The only thing that was different was that this creature was not intelligent as a human was, and that he was not an Aerin Ishtheh. Tarn Va Thaeindor blinked quickly, unsure whether it would be a good idea to cry in front of this mysterious caller.

Tarn Va Thaeindor kept silent as he moved through the streets. The deer's hooves made a slight clacking noise on the cobblestones surrounding the square, but they as soon as they were on dirt paths again the sound was muffled. Tarn Va Thaeindor searched for a long while, but found no one. He refused to believe that he had imagined the voice. Someone had spoken it. He was not insane. He was not even close to it. Tarn Va Thaeindor put his hand on Loraith's back for comfort. Inevitably, his search wound up back at the statue, and he was none the wiser about who had called to him. He stared up at the angel, trying not to look awed once more by its presence. He did not understand why he was lingering in the city, but the same invisible hand that had held him earlier was there, and so he loitered around the angel, waiting.

Loraith could not stand still for very long, but Tarn Va Thaeindor stayed completely still. He struggled to find the peace he had felt earlier, but it kept evading him, and he kept hearing the phrase, "Why do you run?" whenever he closed his eyes. He did not understand the question, although he tried with every fiber in him. All he could come up with was that he ran because it was what any sane person would do when they were happy. Running was life, in Tarn Va Thaeindor's mind. However, the full question, the one asked earlier...that was different. That had asked why he ran from himself. He did not run from himself. That was physically impossible. On the other hand, if it meant it in the other way, which he was sure it did, then he was still not running from himself. Why did the phrase keep popping into his head at random? Where had it come from?

He continued to stand still, waiting and waiting for something to happen. He did not wish to leave the city. He wanted to know more about this goddess of life, yet he could not stay and learn because of Loraith...he would never go back into that temple with the false priests. He also did not want to be here the next morning for the execution of the false priests... Tarn Va Thaeindor shuddered. How could he have condemned all of those people to death? It was not something he normally did, but his fury for the sacrifices of innocents and how they were planning to sacrifice Loraith...

That had ignited his temper beyond all recognition. It shamed him, but at the same time, he was proud of himself. Proud of being angry. What am I coming to? Perhaps it had been the right thing to do, but he still felt unclean, even after the rain had washed him. He felt as if he were a terrible monster, one who tried to get all betrayers killed. He was not like that...he could forgive, even if those priests could not. He would have forgiven all of them. He should have before the priest could say he wished to murder them. A tear fell slowly down his cheek, mingling with the rain that was still falling in sheets.

Tarn Va Thaeindor peered around the square, searching for any type of life. Why did the village seem so empty? It was very odd. Was it deserted except for the temple? That seemed wrong, too. Mayhap they were all hiding in their homes, sleeping, or talking in total darkness. The entire village seemed dead, not a soul moved, and he could sense no one, not even the people he had met in the temple earlier. With a sigh, Tarn Va Thaeindor stretched his arms and began to walk. In seconds, Loraith was by his side, and touched Tarn Va Thaeindor's hand with his nose. Tarn Va Thaeindor tried to smile but it slipped from his face.

"Ah, Loraith, listen to this place. Do you hear its silence? Can you feel the pain enshrouding it? Why is it like that? The desertion must have been recent...it looks cared for. At least, I think it does." Tarn Va Thaeindor frowned. He was not sure what stone looked like when it was well kept. He had come here on advice of a human he had met while traveling. They had said this place was sacred, a refuge to all those in need. But if that was so, where was everyone in need? Why did they run off?

"Why would they leave this place? Or mayhap I should be asking who made them leave it. People don't just leave a city for no reason, Loraith. I'm sure you wouldn't know that, though..." Tarn Va Thaeindor turned and looked at his deer friend. It was so strange to talk to one of the animals in Arda as if it understood you. It certainly did not understand what he was saying, but it was nice to talk to something, and to hear a voice, even if it was his own.

"Perhaps it was that demon. Yet he said he came only for me. Why, I am still not sure. His master...do you think his master might be that god of darkness the false priests worshiped? Or is that god a different god?" Tarn Va Thaeindor sighed in frustration. How many deities were there in Arda? It would be so much better if he knew...he had to ask someone. Yet there were no "someones" to ask!

He went up to a door and knocked on it loudly, hoping to draw attention to himself, even though it could be dangerous. No answer came. Tarn Va Thaeindor nodded to himself. He had expected as much. Tarn Va Thaeindor went down the street, knocking on doors whenever he found one. No one answered. Tarn Va Thaeindor grew more worried by the second, and Loraith grew more skittish. He could sense it in the air now, a malevolent spirit that put an almost dreamlike quality on the city. His mind grew clouded, and he stood, confused and lost, in the middle of a completely different landscape. Tarn Va Thaeindor could only think that he had fallen asleep standing up, and now he was dreaming. Dreaming an odd dream of a gray world and a dark light. Nothing happened for a long while as Tarn Va Thaeindor stood there, utterly alone. His breathing grew loud in his own ears, until the sound of it was overpowering.

He held his breath for a few seconds, but in place of his breath, his heart thudded loud as thunder. With a shudder, Tarn Va Thaeindor began to breathe again, and his breath showed in the air, misty and insubstantial. He watched as it disappeared with a queer expression on his face. It was not cold, but his breath appeared in the air every time he exhaled.

"Hello? Hello, is anyone here?" he called into the darkness. Mayhap this was foolish though, for a voice responded.

"But of course..." a voice hissed in his ear. He whirled around, instinctively bringing his hands up to defend his face. The face he saw before him was the last one he ever wanted to see. The demon. "You turned in my master's servants...you have killed them. For this, my master wants blood, if only to satisfy his need for revenge. He truly cared nothing for their lives, but they were important to a scheme he had, and now look what you've gone and done..." For a moment, the demon sounded as if it were whining like a child. "And of course my master sends me, of course, of course, not that I complain..." Tarn Va Thaeindor wondered if the demon was slightly deranged. It acted as if it was.

Suddenly the demon let out a yell and grabbed Tarn Va Thaeindor's neck with its cold hands. It cut off his supply of air, and it took insane pleasure in seeing Tarn Va Thaeindor struggle for breath. Its expression was one of maniacal joy in what he saw. The demon's fingers crushed Tarn Va Thaeindor's neck, and its face pressed close to his, until he could smell its foul breath and clearly make out the words it spoke. They were cruel words, and they left Tarn Va Thaeindor with little hope at all.

No... no... Tarn Va Thaeindor could not think properly, all he could do was struggle against the death that was rapidly approaching him. No, I will not die. I will not die! He tried to fight back, but his body was losing strength. No! No! No! His thoughts blew together and formed a vortex of words and pictures and meanings. With a mental yell, Tarn Va Thaeindor threw it all at the creature, but he was helpless in the grip of death. Finally, Tarn Va Thaeindor could struggle no more, and he closed his eyes, trying to maintain an expression of peace as he died...

Of course, there was the light. Light as bright as anything he had ever seen. He moved toward it, then backed away, suddenly uneasy. There was something wrong with what was happening. He knew what was going on, but he thought he was not supposed to feel anything when he died. Why was it he still felt the grasping claws of that monstrosity? His neck hurt whenever he touched it, and his body still felt weak. But there was nothing but the light, so that meant he was dead...didn't it?

Why do you run so from yourself? a voice cried out. Another called out the same, but louder. I run from myself, he heard himself say, as if it had all been rehearsed. Why do you run so from yourself? Tarn Va Thaeindor replied, I run from myself. And suddenly, in a moment of breathtaking intensity, it all became clear. He ran from who he truly was and he ran from the ways of the Aerin Ishtheh, he ran from everything he knew and loved and wished for, while pretending to search for it. This new world, this Arda, was his home now, but that did not mean he had to become one of them. He was himself, Tarn Va Thaeindor, Aerin Ishtheh of the High Society.

The light brightened until he became blind, and Tarn Va Thaeindor fell once more into darkness, and felt the familiar feeling of wet skin and the soft tickle of raindrops on his face. His eyes opened to stare at the sky above him. He was on top of the angel again, but the angel was shifting underneath him. He heard an earsplitting crack as part of the stone broke. Tarn Va Thaeindor felt heat coming from the stone beneath him, fiery heat, but it did not burn. Instead, it cleansed, and this time, it truly did what it was meant to do. Tarn Va Thaeindor wept for joy and woe. He felt himself restored to almost the same mentality he had been before his arrival in this world. He felt as if he were himself.

"Why don't you run?" a voice asked, and Tarn Va Thaeindor laughed as he felt the rumbling coming from the statue beneath him. He climbed down the stone sculpture carefully, and then looked up at it once he touched the ground.

"I will...but first, tell me. Who are you?" Tarn Va Thaeindor asked politely, but with a proper amount of curiosity. And the angel replied, "I am an Imperial Archangel of the Goddess of Life. My name has been forgotten...but I live on still. Bless you, child. I bless you with the light and life of the Goddess herself. Live for her and you will live for life. Die for her, and you die for the sake of the life which you so love. Bless you, child..." Then the angel was quiet, and the stone returned to its true position. Tarn Va Thaeindor breathed deeply, savoring the smell and feel of holiness. As he stared up at the perfect face, he felt something hard poke him in the back. He turned slowly, and hugged the man that he saw there.

"Bless you. Bless this town, bless this world. Oh, life is good!" The man stared at him in surprise, and then smiled a big toothy grin. Tarn Va Thaeindor felt a love for this man and the life around him. He could sense it now; there were people here once more. He felt as if they all were under his protection. If Tarn Va Thaeindor had been able to express everything he felt in that moment, he would have shouted it to the heavens, but instead he just smiled back at the human, finally at peace with himself.